• Cobra
    160
    I've been pondering death quite a bit, as usual. It is a constant thought of mine, partly because I never expected to live a long life and have faced it quite a few times. The compulsive thoughts are not due to fear, but instead a loss of what to do next, and a curiosity in the loss of fear to be some sort of abnormality that would effect optimizing function and habits.

    One could argue "suicide," but I find this lacking in reason. What reasonable argument could be made for suicide? There is no reason for me to commit suicide; because there many reasons to live.

    Loss, dying, death, persist and continue, as a cycle. I would not be surprised if I myself, am dying.

    I can comfortably say I no longer fear death or dying, and am feeling the inevitable "spiral". There are still, however, many people I recognize how death fear manifests within their life, lifestyles, and behaviors. Many do not understand why I behave in the manner that I do, but it is only because I am filled with a bland existence in the beauty of it all. They say I cannot see the beauty of life, but it is all I see, and there all there is, because there exists no fear of death or leaving it.

    There is a silent peace of mind; but no one speaks of the blandness to follow. I've taken to nature/beauty, the arts (creation and appreciation), music, and more to distract myself now not from "death fear," but from blandness and boredom.

    Others have said a feeling of impulsivity and dangerous/reckless behaviors typically follow, but I feel the exact opposite. I felt the desire for "you only live once," activities when I was attempting to find life, I was severely disconnected, attempting to connect to a liveliness. I was not at peace, and not connected to life as I am now.

    My main question is for those that do not fear death or dying. What comes with the peace? Is there anything to follow?
  • _db
    3.6k
    boredom
  • Cobra
    160
    boredomdarthbarracuda

    Does the boredom cause sadness in you? It doesn't for me all the time, but I have depressive states, which is where nature, arts, etc.. come in. Nothing much else gives or brings me any form of joy that is not simply fleeting.
  • Judaka
    1.7k

    There isn't this great burden, this urgency to accomplish, you are ready to accept the end and thus can focusing on just living. Death is a clean slate, wipes clean all success and failure, all joy and misery, to nothingness. Meaning is meaningless but you have one life to live, so live well but live free.
  • Pantagruel
    3.2k
    My main question is for those that do not fear death or dying. What comes with the peace? Is there anything to follow?Cobra

    If you cease to identify with the little ego then you are free to explore the full extent of life. Worrying about the shortness of one lifetime just takes energy away from the appreciation of the expanse of the collective life. You are part of a process. The material bits change, but the symbolic elements continue to grow and evolve.
  • Philosophim
    2.2k
    I am not quite at your age, but I have had a similar experience. I had reached a point in my life about a year ago where I had obtained everything I ever wanted. I had reached all of my goals, and there was no "What am I going to do next?" going through my mind.

    Here I was completely happy, and at more peace in my life then I had ever been. I woke up enjoying each day, doing what I wanted. Yet a part of my mind nagged at me. "Shouldn't you be trying to plan for something else next?" I wondered if it was laziness. But then I just realized my mind was still in the mode of "next goal", because I had been in it so long. Like you, I enjoy life, and do things which enrich my day. Am I "bored"? I'm not. If I feel bored, I do something which eases that boredom. I don't particularly fear death, because I've accomplished everything I've wanted to. Still, I do get flashes of fear if I think about the end. So perhaps I don't quite fit your experience.

    But what I do have, is a sense of peace, and no worry about what I'm going to be having to do for the future. I don't think about what comes next. I just live and enjoy life. So few people have that in life, it was my goal, so I learned to love it and appreciate it without worrying about what comes next. Life will come, and I will handle it. Death will come, and I will handle it. For now I can be a rare human who has found their heaven on Earth, and can enjoy the rest of their days, savoring each moment until the end. The goal of life is not to always work towards the next thing. The goal of life is to find the place of the present that makes us fulfilled, happy, and good.
  • Outlander
    1.8k
    My main question is for those that do not fear death or dying. What comes with the peace? Is there anything to follow?Cobra

    Very interesting premises here. The beauty in life is all you see, yet you don't seem to have any explicit attachment to it. I gather you've had a rather pleasant existence. Nothing you'd like to get done, people you'd like to look after, causes or purposes you'd like to help champion or at least contribute to.

    What do you care about in life, OP?

    I may or may not be your intended audience. I don't "fear" death or dying per se as much as I would view it like getting caught in bad weather on the way to somewhere important. I would seek to avoid it when possible with a high degree of care. And would be rather annoyed in the process. At present at least. Crap to do, you know.
  • Fenlander
    10
    Astronomers have measured a possible curve between two points in space. No matter how far apart, no curve has been found. If the Universe had a boundary, then a curve would be found as a straight line cannot carry on forever, or if the known Universe was a globe shape.

    It would be like measuring a small curve on a football. If the Universe has no limitation, then i suspect we dont either, that we are eternal.

    Being eternal means all is mundane, even genocide. At 63, i can attest to life being a constant repeat, of the same thing repeating over and over. The challenge there is to change it. Changing yourself is a mountain to climb.

    So death becomes a fruitful forgetting, and birth a new challenge to improve yourself, over and over, because being human is a low form of existence. I dont know that for sure, but it must be. Yes i am religious, there has to be a god, without one life is surely horrendous.

    There has to be something wonderful somewhere, or as with the expression of evil, its all a waste of time, or no time. How you spend eternity is up to you. I am seeking the garden of Eden without the serpent.
  • tim wood
    8.7k
    for those that do not fear death or dying. What comes with the peace? Is there anything to follow?Cobra
    Life - living - is a brute fact. And dying is a brute eventuality. Any utility from regarding these as anything else, which can of course be beneficial, is even so a deception. Call living a more-or-less blank canvas. What you do with it is up to you.
  • Cobra
    160
    Worrying about the shortness of one lifetime just takes energy away from the appreciation of the expanse of the collective life.Pantagruel

    What do you mean? I am not worried about the shortness of life and appreciate life very much.
  • Cobra
    160
    There isn't this great burden, this urgency to accomplish, you are ready to accept the end and thus can focusing on just livingJudaka

    Thanks for the response. This is exactly what I feel. But living seems to consists of various behaviors and activities that are molded specifically around death fears that I do not really care to be apart of.
  • Judaka
    1.7k

    Personally, as opposed to having a "bucket list", I have a kind of compulsion to be better off today than I was yesterday, I start to feel depressed when I feel like nothing is changing. Perhaps instead of searching for events, you could involve yourself in a process. Build something, improve at something, watch something grow. Life shouldn't feel like you're just standing still, even though the road you're on leads to a dead-end, you still need to walk the walk.
  • Cobra
    160
    I am not quite at your age, but I have had a similar experience. I had reached a point in my life about a year ago where I had obtained everything I ever wanted. I had reached all of my goals, and there was no "What am I going to do next?" going through my mind.Philosophim

    I'm 26 and don't necessarily feel there is a next. The next isn't a compulsive thought, I suppose. The goals I once set now seem trivial and unnecessary. There is no need to be ambitious and I do not feel a lack of contentment or unease to do anything outside of what I feel necessary to do with the occasional hobby, for instance. A bulk of my free time is spent in this way.

    Here I was completely happy, and at more peace in my life then I had ever been. I woke up enjoying each day, doing what I wanted. Yet a part of my mind nagged at me. "Shouldn't you be trying to plan for something else next?" I wondered if it was laziness. But then I just realized my mind was still in the mode of "next goal", because I had been in it so long. Like you, I enjoy life, and do things which enrich my day. Am I "bored"? I'm not. If I feel bored, I do something which eases that boredom. I don't particularly fear death, because I've accomplished everything I've wanted to. Still, I do get flashes of fear if I think about the end. So perhaps I don't quite fit your experience.Philosophim

    This is interesting, does constantly "easing" the boredom itself feel like a routine? Do you have an awareness of your distractions to distract from the boredom? (Apologies if that doesn't make sense).

    What fleeting fear I feel in regards to death is more so not wanting to be in pain at the moment, not necessarily a fear of dying, the end, or death itself. I guess my boredom is somewhat existential than immediate. I fill up my time with things that enrich my life but it is only for ethical reasons. I've lost all sense of ambition, but it isn't a bad thing to me.

    There are still things I would be curious in accomplishing, such as going on to get my JD and pass the bar, but I don't see why I would.
  • Gnomon
    3.5k
    The compulsive thoughts are not due to fear, but instead a loss of what to do next, and a curiosity in the loss of fear to be some sort of abnormality that would effect optimizing function and habits.Cobra
    What comes next is unknowable, but different religions & cultures have imagined a variety of sequels to our "brief candle", some good, some bad : the grave; gloomy Hades; non-existence; eternal existence in Heaven or Hell; punishment for sins during life; alternative afterlife as ghost; sequential lives in various animal bodies; transference into a new human body; promotion to ruler of a new planet or world; a new role in a parallel world or astral plane; and so on, ad infinitum. Hence, your attitude toward death may depend on how you envision the afterlife. Some may dread eternal torture, or look forward to an afterlife of bliss, or simply accept whatever happens with equanimity.

    Regarding "what to do next", I'd say that if you can plan your afterlife like a European Vacation, or Mediterranean Cruise, you should start by making reservations. Or, if you have lived an unworthy life of egregious sin, it's time to "get right with god" --- whatever you conceive that to be. But if the after-death is not under your control, there's no need to worry about it : whatever will be will be. In my case, as I approach The End, I simply assume that the Afterlife will be similar to the Before-life : nothingness. So, I have nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, nothing to plan for. Is that attitude "abnormal"? Since I was raised as a fundamentalist protestant Christian, it is indeed. :smile:


    Compulsive Thoughts : https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intrusive-thoughts#causes
  • Outlander
    1.8k
    I imagine you start listening to online posters who think they know what happens after you die- who for some reason reject the idea of other's versions as an absolute falsehood even though neither have ever been there.

    Bearing in mind death is the end of life- which is the real death? One that can be experienced and witnessed here and now via pessimism or a simple unknown? You tell me. More importantly, you decide for yourself.
  • Cobra
    160
    Very interesting premises here. The beauty in life is all you see, yet you don't seem to have any explicit attachment to it.Outlander

    Thanks for the response. What do you mean by explicit attachment? I am happy and appreciative of being alive, but there isn't an explicit attachment (assuming I know what you mean by that), to life, beauty or living. I don't see why there would need to be.

    I gather you've had a rather pleasant existence.

    Not exactly. In fact, my life has been mostly unpleasant and negative experiences since childhood. It's then where I established a lot of my unease was a fear or lingering anxiety of death, dying, and this fact. I set it as something to overcome, and overcome as quickly as possible, since these are inevitable things and if I were/am to live long I do not want to constantly return to or live by this fear. Being forced to face and look death in the eye myself as assisted some.

    What do you care about in life, OP?Outlander

    Good question. I do care about others, nature, arts and beauty. I would say animals, but I find it difficult to form attachments to them as I do the other things.

    There are more superficial things I care about that I shouldn't, and I'm actively working on, or attempting to care a lot less.

    I may or may not be your intended audience. I don't "fear" death or dying per se as much as I would view it like getting caught in bad weather on the way to somewhere important. I would seek to avoid it when possible with a high degree of care. And would be rather annoyed in the process. At present at least. Crap to do, you know.

    I appreciate your response. I don't seek to avoid death or dying, I'm not sure why I would and don't feel a desire to.

    I do seek not to hurt or harm myself or others. I find that irrational, there is no reason to harm or hurt myself or others.
  • Cobra
    160
    At 63, i can attest to life being a constant repeat, of the same thing repeating over and over. The challenge there is to change it.Fenlander

    Haha, thanks for the honesty.

    I am fascinated by those who are older that seem have to grown content or fond in this. Or have at least, learned how to managed that feeling of repetitiveness. How would say this repetitiveness has e/affected you over the years? Is it now an enjoyment you've found?

    What is life like now for you, how do you view it versus when you were younger?
  • Philosophim
    2.2k
    This is interesting, does constantly "easing" the boredom itself feel like a routine? Do you have an awareness of your distractions to distract from the boredom?Cobra

    No, it does not feel like a routine. Boredom to me is not something I distract myself from. It is an indicator that I need to stimulate my mind with something new. I do understand what you mean though by "doing something to distract from boredom". Sometimes when I'm programming, I'm bored. At those moments I play some music, or some type of distraction. But that is only at work, and rarely on my free time.

    My hobbies are often entertainment or thought that is new. I enjoy writing philosophy, reading the news, and playing new video games. For me, I have to be "doing" something. Passively taking in things or repetitive chores quickly wear me out. And at that point, I simply stop doing them. I only tolerate boredom at my job, never boredom in my own life.

    But, I also know exactly what I enjoy on my free time. Perhaps you need to shake things up a bit. Get out of your comfort zone a little. The other thing is you could be depressed. Depression is not sadness, it is the absence of all motivating emotions. When nothing brings you any emotional joy, dread, or anything in between, that is a sign. Nirvana is not actually heaven, it is often times a grey hell.

    Finally, it could be that you are re-evaluating what others have imparted to you as important, versus your own sense of what is important. As we are raised, many things are pushed upon as as "valuable". Upon spending a few years having to actually live the life we put forward, many of us realize that this "valuable" thing might be valuable, but not to us.

    You may be concerned that certain things others consider valuable no longer has any hold over you. That is not a loss of ambition. It is gaining your own perspective on what is valuable to yourself, and what is not. That is where true freedom lies, and the chance to pursue a life that is not one of boredom, but one of fulfillment.
  • Cobra
    160
    I simply assume that the Afterlife will be similar to the Before-life : nothingness. So, I have nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, nothing to plan for. Is that attitude "abnormal"? Since I was raised as a fundamentalist protestant Christian, it is indeed.Gnomon

    Thanks for taking the time to write that out, Gnom. It was pretty poetic to read. I do find it interesting how all others deal with this, from reincarnation into animals or nothingness, so my intended audience is for everyone. How has nothing to fear, worry about, or plan for manifested in you? Did/do you also experience the peace of mind?

    This portion here is how I feel. I've been irreligious since I was 18 and was able to leave Christianity and the church for numerous reasons, e.g., after my own studying and research. I am godless, and content on this, so I do not believe there to be an afterlife. And if there is any possibility of an experience to be had after death, it would be similar to before life. This isn't something I fear and doesn't bother me at all.
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    Well, at the risk of spoiling it for you - you seem to have found peace - I suggest you get your hands on a good book that chronicles torture, genocide, and most importantly, discuss with your pastor, lama, imam, rabbi, or a priest from whatever religion you belong to, about hell. There are things far worse than death and I feel people who've overcome their dread of the Grim Reaper should, must, let's just say, take it to the next level.
  • ssu
    7.9k
    My main question is for those that do not fear death or dying. What comes with the peace? Is there anything to follow?Cobra
    Waiting.

    Waiting for death.

    Once people don't have much if anything to live for, they cannot live the life they used to, then they can really say that they are totally OK with dying. Usually it comes with when your companion in life and closest friends have already died and one can see that you really aren't needed by the younger generations. These people rarely contemplate suicide, they just wait.
  • Outlander
    1.8k


    Jeez. So there was no point in living other than selfishness. Sorry for other people who bring them joy. Same thing. Meanwhile plenty of other people find joy in helping others and yeah perhaps themselves in the process. I suppose the selfishness aspect cannot be avoided. Still. One looks better than the other.
  • ssu
    7.9k
    Jeez. So there was no point in living other than selfishness.Outlander

    Oh you think that people that are totally alone are selfish or what?
    Jeez.

    As I earlier said, if you are important for others, if you have some role, if you have something to do, that gives life purpose. If people find reason for life, you might not be scared of death, but you surely won't be indifferent about it. Many people will say they aren't afraid about death, but they surely aren't indifferent.
  • Cobra
    160
    I have a kind of compulsion to be better off today than I was yesterday, I start to feel depressed when I feel like nothing is changing. Perhaps instead of searching for events, you could involve yourself in a process. Build something, improve at something, watch something grow.Judaka

    Funny you mention this. I just got back from a nature walk. I try to walk and get out into nature daily, visit parks. I grow flowers and vegetables, and do indoor and outdoor gardening as a hobby and lifestyle choice for good eating; I love to watch things grow. I recently built an art desk to better work on my arts.

    I've also recently beat a game, and the list goes on I suppose. I think maybe I have given the impression that I do not do anything.
  • Cobra
    160
    My hobbies are often entertainment or thought that is new. I enjoy writing philosophy, reading the news, and playing new video games. For me, I have to be "doing" something. Passively taking in things or repetitive chores quickly wear me out. And at that point, I simply stop doing them. I only tolerate boredom at my job, never boredom in my own life.Philosophim

    I enjoy my hobbies and free time very much, but I do recognize them as distractions from a certain blandness and boredom that comes with having not much to fear; especially not death.

    I suppose it is the end that we all endure, and there's nothing left to do but "wait" for death as another user said. I simply cannot be engrossed in hobbies all the time. Sometimes I must sit still, sit still and think. Passively observing and taking in things has never bothered me. And then in this silence do I feel it. The option is to sleep. I don't necessarily think there is a problem to fix, only things to discuss regarding this reality and curiosity how others deal with it.

    C'est la vie.

    The other thing is you could be depressed. Depression is not sadness, it is the absence of all motivating emotions. When nothing brings you any emotional joy, dread, or anything in between, that is a sign. Nirvana is not actually heaven, it is often times a grey hell.Philosophim

    I do have chronic depression since childhood, but I've never found anything to alleviate it. Even with exercise, healthy living, hobbies, helping others and living a (mostly) ethical and frugal lifestyle, and taking numerous forms of anti-depressants and stimulants it persists.

    It doesn't bother me, it is just something to live with at this point. I can override it when I want to motivate myself. It is genetic, non-suicidal and without cure.

    Finally, it could be that you are re-evaluating what others have imparted to you as important, versus your own sense of what is important. As we are raised, many things are pushed upon as as "valuable". Upon spending a few years having to actually live the life we put forward, many of us realize that this "valuable" thing might be valuable, but not to us.

    You may be concerned that certain things others consider valuable no longer has any hold over you. That is not a loss of ambition. It is gaining your own perspective on what is valuable to yourself, and what is not. That is where true freedom lies, and the chance to pursue a life that is not one of boredom, but one of fulfillment.
    Philosophim

    Thanks for giving some perspective with this. This could be it. What most people value, I tend not to. I just want a frugal, quiet life until death with minimal to no ambitions.
  • Cobra
    160
    Well, at the risk of spoiling it for you - you seem to have found peace - I suggest you get your hands on a good book that chronicles torture, genocide, and most importantly, discuss with your pastor, lama, imam, rabbi, or a priest from whatever religion you belong to, about hell. There are things far worse than death and I feel people who've overcome their dread of the Grim Reaper should, must, let's just say, take it to the next level.TheMadFool

    Thanks for the response. I really appreciate it. Maybe this is what peace is like. Haha. I'm currently working through three books. They're all philosophical, but it takes me some time to get through them because of the density of information.

    I am not religious and don't think I'd ever have an emotional need for religion, the supernatural or anything of that nature. I'd prefer to keep clean of that sort of stuff, if this is what you call the next level. I do not shy away from the torture, genocide, gore, or things of those nature and do indulge for fascination's sake in sporadic doses to remain grounded.

    Are you saying hell is far worse than death? If I believed in Hell as an inevitability, I would treat it similar to death and seek to overcome this fear of it as well.
  • 180 Proof
    14k
    My main question is for those that do not fear death or dying. What comes with the peace?Cobra
    Sleep. In my late twenties I lost any shred of ambition I'd had and for no reason other than I felt like I was wasting time today (mostly) 'living for tomorrow'. So then I learned to focus experientially on each day as a journey from waking to falling asleep again, still making and seeing-through my practical plans, yet without racing through my days like a tourist or commuter with tunnel vision bent on just going from A to B to C ... and back to A. My goal each day became the same: avoid whatever diversions or distractions would trouble my health, my calm and my easy sleep. More often than not, now in my fifties, I wake up on the right side of the bed and exhaust myself with full - not necessarily busy - days so that easy "sleep comes like a drug" (as the song says). Bouts of boredom & misery unavoidably come too, of course, and I endure them attentively.

    Is there anything to follow?
    "To sleep, perchance to Dream."

    :death: :flower:
  • Pfhorrest
    4.6k
    After you no longer fear death, you get on with living.
  • Sapien
    31
    Depends on what one intends to do once they stop fearing death.
  • Cobra
    160
    Sleep. In my late twenties I lost any shred of ambition I'd had and for no reason other than I felt like I was wasting time today (mostly) 'living for tomorrow'. So then I learned to focus experientially on each day as a journey from waking to falling asleep again, still making and seeing-through my practical plans, yet without racing through my days like a tourist or commuter with tunnel vision bent on just going from A to B to C ... and back to A180 Proof

    Hey, thanks for the response, as usual. :eyes: You may have an idea of who I am (broken silence).

    I have somewhat come to the similar conclusion that sleep is the only option left. When you are faced with the peace of mind, and also a certain blandness, for me, the only break from the boredom is to sleep and I suppose pass time. It is not so much that I have an absence of things to do, but that I feel an awareness to these activities being a distraction for the reasons as to why I do them.

    The fleeting boredom and inevitable miseries are not problems to fix or anything I strive to necessarily rid of. I've made peace with whatever is to come.
  • Cobra
    160
    After you no longer fear death, you get on with living.Pfhorrest

    Could you care to elaborate? Are you suggesting that those with death fears are not necessarily "living," or that you simply carry on?
bold
italic
underline
strike
code
quote
ulist
image
url
mention
reveal
youtube
tweet
Add a Comment

Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!

Get involved in philosophical discussions about knowledge, truth, language, consciousness, science, politics, religion, logic and mathematics, art, history, and lots more. No ads, no clutter, and very little agreement — just fascinating conversations.