This limerick holds special meaning to me because it conveys an actual childhood memory while I was visiting my grandparents in northern Greenland:

While pleasuring myself with a reindeer
In the tundra all frozen and austere
Then out popped a beaver
All bloodied but eager
Grinning while tightening his head gear

There ought to be a thread dedicated to the random and sexually deviant.

Sorry to say it, but this is just disgusting.

Rather a jocular Limerick with bestial overtones to be disgusted by than a man who riven by self-repression blindly ejaculates his prejudices over all who stray beyond the boundaries of his petty worldview.

Oh I'm actually supposed to be hurt now? >:O

No more than if I took that smiley and shoved it up your arse. In other words, I'm sure you quite enjoy it, my lovely.

No more than if I took that smiley and shoved it up your arse. In other words, I'm sure you quite enjoy it, my lovely. — Baden

Don't think that we're all like you my friend ;)

This is the random sexual deviancy thread, Agustino, and you are seriously missing the point. The idea is to include in your post some form of random sexual deviancy otherwise you are in the wrong place and should bounce out of here on your presumably large and flexible dildo.

This is the random sexual deviancy thread, Agustino, and you are seriously missing the point here. The idea is to include in your post some form of random sexual deviancy otherwise you are in the wrong place and should bounce out of here on your presumably large and flexible dildo. — Baden

Yes now that I have expressed my disgust with this whole affair, I will be able to peacefully walk out the door, having done my duty, and let you guys be up to whatever you see fit without any further disturbances. I wish you good luck, and hope that you know what to do with it :P

We'll be waiting greased up and ready for you when you change your mind, darling. (L)

My sweet calculator really gets me hot
If you don't like this then I care not
I touch the numbers
Imagine robot hummers
Because that's what gets me off.

What counts as sexual deviancy? Anything but a quick missionary under the covers and with the lights out for the purpose of reproduction?

What counts as sexual deviancy? Anything but missionary under the covers and with the lights out for the purpose of reproduction? — Michael

All that + holding hands = sexual deviancy.

All that + holding hands = sexual deviancy. — Baden

And celibacy, too?

I guess every sexual act is sexual deviancy, given that there isn't a sexual norm. But then isn't deviancy defined as contrasting with the norm? So nothing is sexually deviant?

Philosophy!

You are making the mistake of using your brain. That's not what this discussion is for. Just think with your dick and write it out quick. :P

You are making the mistake of using your brain. That's not what this discussion is for. Just think with your dick and write it out quick. — Baden

I shall not partake in such vulgarity. Good day, sir!

Lol. You can join Agustino in purgatory then.

Lol. You can join Agustino in purgatory then. — Baden

Ah, but you misunderstand. I'm a discreet sexual deviant. All bite and no bark. Some of us have class. Unlike that Hanoverian trailer trash.

Um hi. I was looking for this thread all my life. Where do I get those smileys to shove up my ass. Oh, by the counter. Thank you very much. That would be all. Oh wait, I'll take a T_T too after I'm done, 'cause I'm probably gonna cry a lot.

Discreet eh? Well, as long as the trailer doesn't start to rock, surely with dear Hanover you would share your...

Where do I get those smileys to shove up my ass? — discoii

You may have to fight Agustino for them.

Um, I'm some sort of dirty commie, so I'll probably just share it with him.

To my sporting Irish colleagues, I offer you this contest. Fill in the last line of this limerick. The winner is awarded random deviant of the day:

I was petting my sweet little feline
As she purred in my lap near my zip line
Her paws kneeded in
So I pushed down her chin
__________________________?

"Just think with your dick and write it out quick. "
Beautiful.

What counts as sexual deviancy? — Michael

Having sex with a reindeer only to have a bloody beaver emerge from the reindeer's vagina and then that beaver bracing himself for additional sexual assault. That counts as sexual deviancy. I can arrive at more examples and then we can see if we can locate an underlying principle that distinguishes the deviant from the norm. In the search for essence, I think it's best to use sexual deviance as your object, as opposed to ordinary cups.

I was petting my sweet little feline
As she purred in my lap near my zip line
Her paws kneeded in
So I pushed down her chin
__________________________? — Hanover

And though she stopped breathing I felt fine (?)

I was petting my sweet little feline
As she purred in my lap near my zip line
Her paws kneeded in
So I pushed down her chin
__________________________? — Hanover

And they my wife walked in and I forgot how to rhyme.

Lol. Very very nice. Bestiality and necrophilia all wrapped into one.

I particularly like the misuse of "they" instead of "then," adding a purely random element and also the fact that "rhyme" almost rhymes with feline, but doesn't, adding a complex irony, which is important. While not particularly good, I feel you have contributed to the art.

Bestiality and necrophilia all wrapped into one. — Hanover

That's the way I roll. (Y)

It has a kind of rhyme for which my mind pines.

I corrected the "they" to "then", I'll have to change it back.