• BC
    13.5k
    What do you, Philosophers, tell prospective parents about how to raise (Old Norse, raisa) their children so that they will be good citizens, good parents themselves, and good thinkers?

    So you haven't reared (Old English, rǣran) so much as a hamster, children are the future and how they are brought up (OE) matters to everyone, parents or not.
  • Mariner
    374
    Teach them to always look for, enjoy, and revere Beauty, Goodness, and Truth.
  • Hanover
    12.7k
    What do you, Philosophers, tell prospective parents about how to raise (Old Norse, raisa) their children so that they will be good citizens, good parents themselves, and good thinkers?Bitter Crank

    I can't say that I've ever offered unsolicited advice to prospective parents about how they ought to raise their children, and I'm not sure how well received it would be. My guess is that I'd tell them what I did, and knowing that my children are without flaw, they should take my advice.

    In short, the key to success in most every regard is a real education, and if you stress that and insist upon that, all else tends to follow, including such things as good citizenship, morality, and general perspective.

    I must also say that I appreciate your Old English and Norse references, considering both are my first languages. I still can't get a hang of this modern English.
  • VagabondSpectre
    1.9k
    I would gamble on instilling critical thinking skills and a generally clear portrait of the world they're about to grow up in.

    If we can just get them started on the path to self-learning and development, and give them as much of a head start as possible, maybe they'll surpass us all.

    How to make a child into a good thinker is tricky... Trick them into thinking that learning is fun, or at least show them that the product of learning is desirable?
  • unenlightened
    9.1k
    You teach an infant to talk by talking to them and listening to them as if they already understand and already talk.
    So treat your child as a good citizen, a good thinker, a good parent; take them seriously and they will be seriously worth taking seriously.
  • BC
    13.5k
    You teach an infant to talk by talking to them and listening to themunenlightened

    Talking a lot, and nicely, to children is critical.

    Children from middle class homes hear many more normal conversational words by first grade (5 to 6 years of age) than children in poor families (referred to as the 30 million word gap). The quality of conversation is also quite disparate between middle class (or higher) and working class (or lower) families. Poor children tend to hear far fewer conversational words; more command words; more negative words ("SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" as the kid is slammed into the seat on the bus) and far fewer positive words. Children in prosperous families are read to, hear many praise words, and much less negative or command language.

    What difference does this make?

    Poor children often begin school with more than a 2 year deficit in language. Not only do they know fewer words, their word response time is slower. They learn less well. Some children can not overcome these deficits even with tailored remediation. Children who begin school 2 years behind have difficulty catching up, and in fact fall further behind as time goes on.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    You teach an infant to talk by talking to them and listening to them

    Worth while topics are also important.
  • BC
    13.5k
    Like... what topics would you suggest for the average toddler <2 years old?
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    I usually refuse to give advise to future parents, most of the time they wont follow it any way.

    And as each child is different I have no knowledge that could be applied universally accept to remind them that the kids will be the future of humanity so they should try not to fuck them up too badly.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    ↪Sir2u
    Like... what topics would you suggest for the average toddle <2 years old?

    Good question. Just what would a two year old be able to understand?
    I have a nephew of that age that is a little slow starting to talk. When he comes over he has found out that I will lend him my computer to play on if I am not working. While all he really wants to do is paint, he will usually sit still for a few seconds while something is explained to him.

    So I guess the topics should be things that will be useful to him /her as they interact with their surroundings.
    Nonsense baby talk is definitely off the list of topics.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k
    Something else.
    I teach at a bilingual school and at the secondary level the kids biggest problem is expressing themselves in social settings because they spend most of their time studying subject specific words.
  • BC
    13.5k
    Nonsense baby talk is definitely off the list of topics.Sir2u

    Nonsensical baby talk isn't as nonsensical as some of the nonsensical adult talk here. At least baby talk serves a useful developmental purpose. If someone handed you a 9 week old puppy I bet you'd be emitting baby talk in 2 seconds. (Puppies respond favorably to baby talk; once they are 9 months to a year old, they don't respond to it more than they respond to normal language.)
  • BC
    13.5k
    While all he really wants to do is paintSir2u

    Why don't you give him some finger paint, then he could enjoy actual tactile sensations as well as a computer screen. You could make some thick white unflavored gravy and then color it. If he ate it, it wouldn't matter (just don't use cadmium or chromium as yellow or blue tint. Stick to edible food colors.) Have him play with it on the sidewalk; when he's done, just hose the kid and the sidewalk off.
  • BC
    13.5k
    I usually refuse to give advise to future parentsSir2u

    I enjoy telling parents what they are doing wrong. It's usually so obvious, even the dog is appalled.
  • Thorongil
    3.2k
    Teach them to always look for, enjoy, and revere Beauty, Goodness, and Truth.Mariner

    Basically this. (Y)
  • Benkei
    7.6k
    I'm still trying to figure this out.

    One of the main things I already try to teach my 2 year old is to try-and-try again. Any skill takes time and effort to master. So I applaud her effort (even if I also think she's very smart). I don't want her to give up when it gets tough but to relish the challenge. If I can teach her that, she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to.

    Also, apparently Dutch people in general are pretty relaxed about raising kids if happiness is anything to go about: Why Dutch Children Are the Happiest in the World
  • Wayfarer
    22k
    I think your children will absorb and reflect the environment they're raised in. What they want most is security, love, predictability, and the freedom to discover things for themselves. But their immediate family - parents first, then other relatives - are their most obvious role models, so they will reflect those influences first and foremost.

    Also, if I was raising a small child now, I would curtail the amount of time they spend playing with electronic devices - smart phones and the like. I see toddlers on trains, transfixed by some game or another on some device they're holding. They need more time with good old fashioned objects, dirt, dogs, toys, building dams with rocks in a creek, going fishing and climbing trees. //end rant.
  • Mariner
    374
    Like... what topics would you suggest for the average toddler <2 years old?Bitter Crank

    Whatever he or she experiences, of course. The world is full of wonders. Look at this car. Look at that tree. Our job is to open the curtains.

    Also, if I was raising a small child now, I would curtail the amount of time they spend playing with electronic devices - smart phones and the like. I see toddlers on trains, transfixed by some game or another on some device they're holding. They need more time with good old fashioned objects, dirt, dogs, toys, building dams with rocks in a creek, going fishing and climbing trees. //end rant.Wayfarer

    Like everything else, moderation is important here too. But the electronic world is full of wonders too. And one may use it to show stuff which the kid would never see otherwise.

    Truth be told, no parent can avoid the confession that sometimes you must give the kid some cartoon to watch, if only to catch your breath :D. We have lives too, and kids don't know that. I agree that it is important to restrain it a bit (otherwise the kid will always reach for the tablet or phone, it is simpler and closer than going outside, and we are Occamists at heart). We have had success by determining that cartoons are not to be watched in the morning. The time for cartoons is after the return from school (around 6 PM), for about one hour. But if we are in the mood, we invite him to watch a movie with us rather than just watching some cartoon. He enjoys it much more.
  • Ian
    13
    Starting from day one do not let your baby "cry it out". Recognize that typical babies generally only cry because a certain need is not being met. Almost always those needs are hunger, physical discomfort (pain, soiled diaper, etc.) or tiredness/need for sleep. A baby whose needs are met quickly and consistently develop confidence in their care and environment which in turn promotes independence and being well adapted as they grow into toddler years and beyond. Do not ignore your babies cries, instead, meet their needs.

    Also, make a practice from an early age of telling your children what the correct action or language is to be used in a given circumstance, rather than only telling them their current behavior or language is incorrect. For example. If your 3 year old says, "give me that water right now!" Don't just say, that's bad. Tell them, "may I please have that water." In other words, give them the action or language that is appropriate for that instance. Reward behavior you want to see.
  • Wosret
    3.4k
    I'm like a combination of the philosophy of lead by example, and neglect. So, you know, I just continue on with what I do, and not really look at, or talk to them, and they figure it all out. Just like God does it.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k

    Nonsensical baby talk isn't as nonsensical as some of the nonsensical adult talk here.

    Aye Aye Aye, I wonder who you mean.X-)

    At least baby talk serves a useful developmental purpose.

    For tiny babies yes but talking to them normally has exactly the same effect so I don't see the value of it. It is positively damaging once the child starts to imitate others speech.

    If someone handed you a 9 week old puppy I bet you'd be emitting baby talk in 2 seconds.

    No I would not, and I don't care how cute he is either

    Why don't you give him some finger paint, then he could enjoy actual tactile sensations as well as a computer screen.

    Hell no. I leave that shit to his mother. She is a preschool teacher and she is used to cleaning up the mess.

    Have him play with it on the sidewalk; when he's done, just hose the kid and the sidewalk off.

    Where I live there are no sidewalks, only dirt roads. They say that it will be paved within the next five years, but they have been saying that for the last ten.
  • Sir2u
    3.5k

    I enjoy telling parents what they are doing wrong. It's usually so obvious, even the dog is appalled.

    I stick to telling them what their kids are doing wrong and let them figure it out from there.
  • BC
    13.5k
    Where I live there are no sidewalks, only dirt roads. They say that it will be paved within the next five years, but they have been saying that for the last ten.Sir2u

    Oh, dirt roads -- ready made sandboxes.

    For tiny babies yes but talking to them normally has exactly the same effect so I don't see the value of it. It is positively damaging once the child starts to imitate others speech.Sir2u

    Well... I feel too inhibited to emit baby talk to a baby or a puppy if there are other adults in the room. But I've heard that it's useful for baby-parent bonding, and they all seem to do it. And infants don't talk that way when they learn to talk, merciful god.
  • Benkei
    7.6k
    Baby talk is vocal practise (which is 50% listening!) that babies are capable of imitating (the other 50%). Regular words are often just too hard and regular sentences have too many different sounds following each other, making them impossible to focus on in the beginning. Simple, repetitive sounds is what they can handle. The practice benefits them later on in forming words.

    And what's a little embarrassment when you can give them a linguistic headstart? ;)
  • unenlightened
    9.1k
    Songs are good. I used to keep our daughter in our shop quite often, and every time a bus went by, I'd sing 'the wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long. And that was her first word at 7 months - 'lor-li-lor'. Which is baby talk for 'all day long', which is unenlightenenedish for 'bus'. Go with the flow, and by one she was having whole sentence conversations with strangers on the train.I'll never forget the excitement of that first discovery, that sounds mean things - that big thing's got a name, and I know it!
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