• Darkneos
    689
    I know what racism is defined as, but I'm doubting that this is a valid form of it. I mean one can't help who they are sexually attracted to right? And it is clear that people of a certain race do share physical features in common, so what is wrong with being attracted to that (or not)?

    I mean no one cares if they don't prefer red heads or short guys, etc, so why do they cry racism? It's not like they're calling to lynch those people, take away rights, or treat them as sub human, etc. So why is it that when someone says they are (or in more likely aren't since that seems to rub folks the wrong way) attracted to a certain race people call them racist?
  • Dharmi
    264
    Some people say yes, others say no. I personally think it isn't, but...
  • T Clark
    13k
    Is being attracted to a certain race Racism?Darkneos

    Perhaps more important, is asking this question racist?
  • IsaacTuron
    1


    Perhaps more important, is asking this question racist?
  • Outlander
    1.8k
    Like, just one or a few or their own? There's two levels to attraction, physical and mental. You can't really help either. For example on other sites I'll make the fact that many modern Americans are nothing like their older generations were when they were younger known. But obviously neither were they like those before them at that age.. etc. It's the inevitable moral degradation and what it spells out in the long run that concerns me.

    As far as being attracted to your own race it's more than likely just a matter of familiarity- you know who you were raised by and grew up around, etc. I can't find the original video, the only ones are those that give their own "take" on the research, but allegedly some institution produced a video about "babies being racist" that talks more about it. It makes sense, the first people you see are your parents, followed by family. Some.. stranger is obviously going to be just a tad strange at that age! lol.

    It's important to differentiate between physical and mental attraction. I don't like people who are sh*tty, warranted or not. Sure if you caused the sh*ttiness in question (or circumstances that weren't likely to produce anything else) it's worth realizing that. But people are free to be or not to be in relationships with whomever they like.

    For example I don't like "ghetto" attitudes. And neither do most older males of any color. It's the urban form of being a caveman. Having no hesitation to break a bone, rupture an eye socket, or spill blood because of "something you heard" or "for my hood". It's a poison. A literal poison that ensnares both oppressed and non-oppressed peoples equally in invisible chains (which often soon result in physical ones btw) placing the only key the only place they'd now never find it, which is forgiveness and humility. Or otherwise just not being a petty tool that tries so hard not to be a "b*tch" they literally do what other people say quicker and more consistently then if they were paid to do it and actually wanted to! They throw away their freedom, local economies, and even lives all in the pursuit of each. Just like some people want. So tragic. Reverse psychology I guess.

    Still, it's bad form. Either version of "I'm interested in X (yet not excluding Y)" or "I'm not interested in X". A simple "I'm not interested, sorry" is sufficient. Or you know how nice chicks like to try and seem. "Uh I just got out of a really bad breakup recently and uh.. I'm just not ready for it sorry. Your really cute.". That or they just say they have an STD. :lol:
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    Being attracted to something, anything is underpinned by a value judgment and invariably one likes what one thinks is better. Ergo, if you feel attracted to a particular race, it amounts to saying that that race is better and that's racism. You may prefer your own race over others and that's your run of the mill, garden variety racism but you may also like a race other than your own and that's auto-racism.
  • Jack Cummins
    5.1k

    I think that seeing who one is sexually attracted to in terms as being race and as possible racism would be taking political correctness to the ridiculous.We have seen centuries of people being criticised for whether they are attracted to the opposite sex or their own. If people began criticising on the basis of attraction in such a way and making it political it would be like a form of thought policing, because taken to the extreme it could create a new taboo of unacceptably.
  • Tom Storm
    8.3k
    So why is it that when someone says they are (or in more likely aren't since that seems to rub folks the wrong way) attracted to a certain race people call them racist?Darkneos

    Depends on why. Caucasian guy I knew was attracted to Asian women. Unpacked it with him and the following reason was provided. "They are more likely not to answer back and make their partners happy compared to white women.' A racist trope, surely. I think it would be interesting in some cases to learn what is behind the attraction and what that race represents, perhaps even subconsciously.
  • 180 Proof
    14k
    Is preferring, or being most (even exclusively) attracted to, any particular "race" (re: members of a color/ethnic group) "racist"?

    Other than due to comforting familiarity and/or for aesthetic reasons (i.e. fetish), IMO probably yes.
  • I like sushi
    4.3k
    Some people are attracted to novelty where others are more attracted to what is familiar. It probably has much more to do with exposure and psychological dispositions - ‘attraction’ that is - than anything else.

    In terms of physical appearance so many things may factor into this - including outright ‘racism’. We don’t tend to call someone ‘sexist’ for preferring one particular sex, or ‘racist’ if they have an aesthetic inclination towards men or women of a certain physical build (regardless of skin tone or ethnicity).

    The question in and of itself says more about the societal state of our times and how many are struggling to re/define certain boundaries and/or to obsess over labels and identity in a world that is seemingly becoming more and more homogenous (in terms of globalism and cultural trends blending).
  • Metaphysician Undercover
    12.3k
    Morality involves adapting your personal taste, desires, inclinations, and attractions, to socially accepted standards.
  • baker
    5.6k
    If one feels attracted to an elf or a mermaid, is one racist ...
  • baker
    5.6k
    Morality involves adapting your personal taste, desires, inclinations, and attractions, to socially accepted standards.Metaphysician Undercover
    Which would make sense in a monoculture, but not in most modern culturally and racially diverse societies.
  • Metaphysician Undercover
    12.3k

    But it's not socially unacceptable to be attracted to someone of a different race. Many though, would argue that it is morally unacceptable to be attracted to someone solely by their visual appearance.
  • Jack Cummins
    5.1k
    I just read the article you referred to in the Metro, but it is more complex than this. Obviously, how we speak about preference matters. Language about stereotypes, women, men and bodies can be obnoxious, especially in popular culture.

    It may be the case that to say that one prefers black women can be construed as racist, depending on the way it is said or in the context.But, of course, there was a whole history of white people, mostly, objecting to mixed marriage, which was problematic, especially for two people in love. I do believe that we need to be mindful of language, but of course we are only responsible for what we say individually, and to try to outlaw certain expression could almost be seen as going back to the the idea of the moral right, except from a different angle.
  • Darkneos
    689
    Being attracted to something, anything is underpinned by a value judgment and invariably one likes what one thinks is better. Ergo, if you feel attracted to a particular race, it amounts to saying that that race is better and that's racism. You may prefer your own race over others and that's your run of the mill, garden variety racism but you may also like a race other than your own and that's auto-racism.TheMadFool

    How exactly is that racism? Being attracted to black men doesn't mean I think they're better than any other race, I'm just physically attracted. It's not like I think they are superior. I don't think vanilla is superior to chocolate, I just like vanilla. Like and dislike isn't really the same as better/worse.
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    How exactly is that racism? Being attracted to black men doesn't mean I think they're better than any other race, I'm just physically attracted. It's not like I think they are superior. I don't think vanilla is superior to chocolate, I just like vanilla. Like and dislike isn't really the same as better/worse.Darkneos

    Attraction, whether conscious or subconscious, is a value judgment and, as far as I know, one likes something because one values that thing...over others...and therein lies the rub.
  • 180 Proof
    14k
    Being attracted to black men doesn't mean I think they're better than any other race, I'm just physically attracted.Darkneos
    :smirk:
  • Saphsin
    383
    I admit I have my own aesthetic preferences in terms of appearance between races when it comes to a sexual partner. I don't think that arriving at a particular aesthetic preference is racist in of itself (anymore than preferring hair color) but I'm also the product of a media environment. Advertising, television, and Hollywood and the sorts. I was probably at least partly influenced by media portrayals of attractive women, of which there is evidence of a racist bias over many years.
  • javi2541997
    4.9k
    I think no. It is not racism. It is just personal preferences if you prefer to have sex with white or black people, red/blonde hair etc... Because they are pure personal criteria.
    Racism is when you are putting limits to other's rights when they are different race/ethnics from you.
  • baker
    5.6k
    But it's not socially unacceptable to be attracted to someone of a different race.Metaphysician Undercover
    Where???
    Where I live, it's quite unacceptable, it earns one a stigma.

    Many though, would argue that it is morally unacceptable to be attracted to someone solely by their visual appearance.
    Eh? Who are those "many"?
    Pfft. Looks matter. A lot.
  • Darkneos
    689
    But it isn't a value judgment though, because we don't actually judge anything. It just is. Like when you like a certain flavor, there isn't a judgment, it just is. It isn't valuing one thing over others. Racism is different.

    There is a difference between liking something and believing it to be superior to all others or that others are inferior. I don't think vanilla is superior to chocolate, I just prefer it to chocolate. It's just a matter of taste. I don't think chocolate is worse just because I don't like it. Same with people. Just because I'm not physically attracted doesn't mean that I think you're subhuman trash.
  • Uni-Perspective
    2
    I believe sexual preference is just that, a preference. We typically have a preference when it comes to gender. We typically have a preference when it comes to physical and personality traits as well as several other variable parameters. The chemical bond between two individuals is a field of study the professionals haven’t quite figured out yet. If they did, I bet there would be a dating site on the internet right now dominating the industry.
    I believe sexual attraction cannot be persuaded with logic. The Romeo and Juliet concept. I understand I may come across as a hopeless romantic, but I believe the poets and musicians of the world have a better understanding of love and attraction than the scientists do.
    I don’t believe sexual preference is racist. I would love to hear the argument from an evolutionary perspective.
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    But it isn't a value judgment though, because we don't actually judge anything. It just is. Like when you like a certain flavor, there isn't a judgment, it just is. It isn't valuing one thing over others. Racism is different.

    There is a difference between liking something and believing it to be superior to all others or that others are inferior. I don't think vanilla is superior to chocolate, I just prefer it to chocolate. It's just a matter of taste. I don't think chocolate is worse just because I don't like it. Same with people. Just because I'm not physically attracted doesn't mean that I think you're subhuman trash.
    Darkneos

    From Wikipedia: Attraction is based on physical features which have to be aesthetically pleasing (beautiful/handsome) and/or on traits such as intelligence, how good one is morally speaking, etc.

    If and when you're attracted to someone, you're saying, "oh, fae is handsome/fae is beautiful and/or fae is a good man/woman" i.e. you consider that someone to be a cut above the competition in those respects. If you feel attracted not an individual but to a race, the same sentence above becomes "oh, <insert race> are handsome/<insert race> are beautiful and/or <insert race> are good men/women" and that's racism because you're ultimately judging a particular race to possess traits that make them (more) attractive than other races.
  • BC
    13.1k
    Whether cross-racial attraction is racist or not depends on how it is done. A black guy and a white guy hit it off in the bar, go home together, and have a great time. Not racist.

    A white guy exclusively prefers black men. Racist? Possibly. A black guy exclusively prefers white men. Racist? Possibly. What would make these relationships racially suspect would be the motivation. If economic power or economic opportunity plays a significant role in one's preference, classism coupled with racism is more likely. I don't think it is racist to find a handsome black guy as attractive as a handsome white guy. Where it gets dicier is when blackness (or oppositely, whiteness) is a requirement for someone to find interest in a prospective partner.

    There used to be a gay group, BWMT, Black and White Men Together. They held social events, and all of the white guys had black partners (more or less exclusively). There was almost always a significant wealth and class difference--the whites being more better-off middle class, the blacks being poorer working class. Were the white guys slumming? Possibly.
  • Judaka
    1.7k

    Race directly impacts appearence, like eye colour, hair colour, bone structure, height and so on. In this day and age, with internet dating being the main way people hook up, the largest factor which distinguishes your options is appearence. If you only wanted to match up with people of a particular race, you would still have way too many options to choose from than you could ever need. The idea that race-preference is racism is shallow, people select based on appearence and race affects appearence. I think those who have pointed out that someone could prefer a race based on behaviour-based stereotypes or fetishism have an argument. When you accept how superficial dating is, where people often only meet based on mutual attraction, based almost entirely on looks, then you accept that race is a component of that.

    People should be able to evaluate racial features unimpeded when it comes to deciding what they find attractive, even if it's unfair, the sexual marketplace is inherently unfair to begin with.
  • Noble Dust
    7.8k
    I think what we're talking about here is just fetishization. If you "have a thing" for redheaded women, short stocky guys, black men, asian women, asexuals, or insecure white men, whatever, you have a fetish. There's a feature to a certain type of person that gets you going. The question is whether this fetish is healthy or not to your psyche, and I'm not suggesting there's a simple answer.

    Also, just admit that you "have a thing". We all do. Or several.
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