Just because we do not understand what we are saying to ourselves through our feelings does not mean it makes no sense, but it makes no sense only because we are not rational enough to understand ourselves independent from the social conditions. — TimeLine
All right, I can accept this principle. When it appears like love, internal feelings, emotions, and things of the subconscious are illogical and irrational, it is not really the case that they are, what is really the case is that the conscious mind is being irrational by trying to understand them through principles which do not apply. Love is not really contrary to reason at all, it's just that the rational mind hasn't developed the principles required to properly understand it, so it attempts to understand with principles that are not suited. Because love doesn't conform to these principles, it appears to be irrational, when in reality the mind is being irrational.
So for instance, these things in the category of becoming, like matter and potency, which Aristotle demonstrated defy the law of excluded middle, are not really irrational or illogical at all, it's just that the conscious mind would be irrational if trying to understand them with conventional logic. The development of modal logic for example, would render these things intelligible. What about love then? As Plato described, it is derived from this category of becoming, but it has a deeper element which expresses, or displays the beauty of its true essence in creativity. From sexual reproduction through all artistic endeavours, to the creation of mores, social customs and institutions, the beauty of love's creations is there for the rational mind to observe and behold. What kind of principles can the rational mind adopt, to comprehend this seemingly incomprehensible beauty?
That's why Plato turned to "the good", because the good makes all the beauty of creation intelligible. It gives a reason to this creativity, it is good. But by doing this we open up a pitfall for ourselves. Unless we can say what it is good for, then "the good" of all these beautiful creations, i.e. the claim that they are "good", is just deception. Under this guise of deception, love is lost, and all these beautiful things become very ugly.
Love can only be possible under autonomous conditions and so many people believe love is somehow unconditional. If that were so, why - realistically - are there so many examples of how unsuccessful love is, of how miserable people can be in relationships, or how obvious it is that it is not lasting? People form attachments based on false perceptions that they have conformed to from their social environment because they are consistently told that love is irrational or illogical, that it is beyond them in someway, given to them and that they must sacrifice themselves and let things be. — TimeLine
If we allow that true love is not unconditional, then we must give a reason for love. As is evident from what Socrates has learned from Diotima, the reason for love is creation. Where love is evident to us is in the beauty of things which are created. So we can infer that love is behind, as inspiration for the creation of these beautiful things. Love creates. Of course that is most evident in the creation of children, but as Socrates indicated it takes teaching to learn to see the love behind all the other created things, right up to the institutions of humanity. They are all inspired by love.
If people are unsuccessful in love, as you describe, then these people misunderstand love, and are expecting the wrong thing from it. As we said earlier, love is not well taught in our society, so our social environment does not really prepare us for love. If one approaches love without the true perspective, which is the desire to create something beautiful, then that individual has no idea of what they want from love, and could get locked into a relationship of forever searching for what love can give, finding nothing, being miserable and frustrated. If one approaches love with the true perspective, then that individual will judge the potential partner for their merits and capacity for creating that thing of beauty which is desired, just like the artist chooses the palette. The artist knows the right and wrong colours, and if the wrong colour has been chosen, takes measures to correct the mistake immediately. But if the artist has no idea of what is being created on the canvas, how could the artist know whether the colour is the right or wrong colour? Likewise, if the lover has no idea of what is wanted from the relationship, the beautiful thing to be created, how can that lover know if the beloved is the right or wrong person.
You can only give love to the world rationally or appropriately when you have learnt to love and respect yourself, because only then are you even capable of giving love. Otherwise, how you give love is faux, adapting to the social requisites and indoctrinated perceptions given to you. The problem with your view about this whole negation of one's autonomy is that you assume the latter (to love yourself) to be a type of self-conceit or arrogance, probably because you have mistaken the vast majority of people who are conceited to love themselves, that, and moral worthiness to be a type of self-sacrifice or meekness and solitude. — TimeLine
Contrary to what you say here, I perceive that in our society there are virtually no social requisites, no indoctrinated perceptions of love. The perceptions of love in the population are so varied and scattered that there is no convention, no indoctrination. Not only does this leave the autonomous individual with no clear approach to relationships with others, but also no approach to what it means "to love and respect yourself". So it is one thing to say that the lover must learn how to love and respect oneself before being able to give love, but if that person has not been taught what it means to give love, how can that person give it to oneself? Where does the person ever learn this, except from the love which has been given to that person as a child? And in recognizing that the love necessarily came from someone else, the person's autonomy must be surrendered in order that the individual can recognize and understand what love is. The person cannot love oneself without understanding what love is. This requires learning what love is. And learning what love is is to see that my very existence is dependent on the love of others. To understand what love is is to surrender one's autonomy. That is where we have to accept as a rational principle, that which appears to the conscious mind as irrational, making the rational mind conform to love instead of doing the inverse which is impossible. If you fail to surrender your autonomy, then you have failed in learning what love is, and you will fail in any attempt to love yourself.
While love is paradoxical, it is a result of the human condition, of us being capable or being aware of our own existence. — TimeLine
To be aware of one's own being is to be aware of the conditions of becoming. This is to be aware that one's being has come from something else. Our existence is dependent on those who brought us into this world, so when we consider temporal extension, autonomy is an illusion. Our autonomy, our freedom, is a function of the present moment. Descartes misleads us, saying I am at the present moment thinking, therefore "I am". But this "I am", of the present moment is not being at all, it's just a moment of becoming as described by Hegel. Being, existing, is to have temporal extension. To be aware of one's own existence is to be aware of one's place in time, to be aware that one's self is just a moment of becoming in the temporal extension prior to one's self, and posterior to one's self. Phenomenology is very relevant. Descartes misrepresented his own existence. He wanted to be, so he represented "I want to be" with "I am". But saying what you want, doesn't make it so, and that is why some form of phenomenology is more appropriate for understanding the true human condition.
When you are trapped in a mind conformed to social requirements as per your learning, one continues to "love" only specific people or objects and it is usually those who "love" them return (which is really just acceptance or a type of social congratulations for following these unwritten rules), and that gives one that sense of unity because such social acceptance alleviates the anxiety we feel since it enables or justifies our conformism and silences our desire for autonomy. — TimeLine
You seem to be blind to the true role of love in our society, and that is its creative power. Did your mother not love you? Do you not attribute your existence to the love of your parents? How can you deny this biological unity between you and your parents, as if love were nothing more than a social convention? Is this not a real biological unity to you? And is love not an aspect of this biological unity? If love is an aspect of this biological unity, how can you portray it as social convention and unwritten rules? Clearly love cannot be described in terms of "social requirements", "social congratulations", or "social acceptance", because it is a feature of the biology of the organism, not a feature of society. Social institutions are a creation of love.
When you are elevated to a level of autonomous agency and begin identifying with the world independently, you are capable of true love and this is love to all things and not objects. This capacity to give love to all things is really defined as moral consciousness, and so that feeling within is real or authentic. What that means is that when you have learnt to give love rather than want love, you are actually being loving and not falsely. — TimeLine
So I would assume that to elevate oneself to the level of autonomous agency is to apprehend oneself as a biological organism. To truly understand love, is to perceive it as a property of the biological organism. So to be capable of true love is to be capable of loving according to what is appropriate to the biology of the particular organism, and this is regardless of social conformities, and social requirements, etc.. Then all these social conventions ought to conform to true love, otherwise they'll become irrational principles, by which we'll be attempting to understand love through principles which are inapplicable.
An autonomous agent can see or perceive the world correctly and they can see that most people are blindly conforming. This is very isolating. I have always said that no one can see me for this reason. As true love or moral consciousness is to love all things and not something specific, all things are symbolic of the form of Good. — TimeLine
And if I understand you correctly, you are saying we ought to follow love, which is a property of each individual biological organism, rather than blindly conforming to social conventions. It would be this blind conformation, to principles which are not necessarily consistent with the love that the individual has, which causes confusion and anxiety for the person.
This unity is symbolic. — TimeLine
The unity is not really symbolic though, it is a real unity of dependence. The created is dependent on the creator. The relationship between them is love, and it is not merely symbolic. Suppose you desire a relationship of love. This is a desire to create something beautiful, a loving relationship. If it comes about, in the future, that you create this beautiful relationship, then the you of the past is still real as creator of this thing of beauty in a relationship with it, which is more than symbolic. it is a relationship of dependence.
I have said earlier that no one can see me because I have yet to meet a man that is not blindly following in some way, neither have I met a man who has the courage to let go of his past as well as his social conditions to improve himself and epitomise this form of Good - to be capable of giving love through virtue, righteousness, justice - rather than focusing his attention to try and be lovable through power, popularity or money. — TimeLine
Perhaps you should not include letting go of the past, as a condition. There is always a relationship of dependency between the past and the present, as well as the present and the future, and this makes us who we are. It is not to assert determinism, and deny the possibility of change, but to recognize that we are biological organisms. We cannot change the biology of the person to be according to rational principles, so we need to change our rational principles to be in harmony with the biology of the person.