Being content, finding joy in the little things and accepting the world as incredible incompetent incomplete and hopeful.

How do we decide what matters? — TiredThinker

Generally I don't decide. I act.

Is what matters and what we're willing to forgo have everything to do with our own mental state and less to do with the world we are trying to describe? — TiredThinker

I don't divide the world into deliberations about what matters. I act.

Now if in acting I get 'knocked on my ass', I might learn and reflect or try something new. My actions are based on whatever's already there inside me, a consequence of socialization, enculturation, personality, reading, conversations, that kind of thing. I don't sort it out or care to sort it out, I make judgements and go with them.

How do we decide what matters? — TiredThinker

It's a matter of values and the prioritizing of those values. What do you care about? What do you like or love about life?

I think actions speak much louder than words (or thoughts...or professed beliefs), so looking at how we spend our time is, in my view, important. Not the time that we experience, per se, but the time we've standardized through the agreed upon duration of a "second" and a "day" -- so we can be a little more objective about it. How many non-sleeping hours are we spending on x, y, and z? That will tell you a lot about where your priorities are -- i.e., what "really matters" to you.

So we better try our best to align our time with our values. If we spend excess amount of time (A) alone, drifting, watching TV (or screens), overeating, being sedentary, or working a job we hate rather than (B) spending time with family and friends, or generally being sociable, or working in the community, or spending time getting healthier by being active and eating well, or doing creative, productive work voluntarily -- than we're likely in real trouble, because in this case B > A in terms of what matters, but A > B in terms of what we actually do.

To reverse a lot of this requires real reflection, an awareness that there's a problem, a desire to want to change, and the wherewithal to formulate a plan and stick with it. It means overcoming unhealthy habits of mind and body that we've developed, and which says something about our society as well.

Not an easy task. But an important question.

How do we decide what matters? — TiredThinker

To do so I think one must suffer, lose, fail ... reflectively.

... whatever you're doing that prevents you from killing yourself. — Albert Camus

NB: Such as cultivating habits of courage ... of learning ... of ecstasy ...

What matters to us is survival and evolution. So when we ask if something matters, we are asking is it necessary for survival and helpful toward evolution.

Can I live without this?
Is this empty (going nowhere) or full of potential?

Many things can and will happen between now and tomorrow, we and our circumstances change along with our chemistry and our ever changing external realities. Tomorrow we will reflect differently from today, to walk ahead of today might be considered meaningless in that context.

We do not decide what matters. What matters is present it is just a case of paying attention and being honest with yourself. - not that this is an easy task.

Note: Edit your OP as it is incoherent in places.

I'm recalling a British comedy movie of the 1950's called "The Man Who Liked Funerals". One of the characters says: "Remember the family motto: first we act, then we think!"

I'm incoherent in places.

I think such an approach to life is generally an unbalanced one. One should always spend time reflecting and evaluating their own judgment, sharpening the moral self if you will. I wouldn't practically heavily rely on one of my virtues such an intuit as attractive as it may seem. It's something I need more of personally, though.

How do we decide what matters? — TiredThinker

When you cross a swamp, where you decide to put your feet depends on how firm the ground looks. Be prepared to change your footing if the ground gives way under your weight. It's also not a bad idea to step where others have already stepped, and to keep an eye on how those around you are getting on.

What matters is what makes you alive, and not just material, but emotional, intellectual and spiritual sustenance. It is not enough to merely be alive, we need to feel alive. If you feel alive your feelings, thoughts and actions will also be lively.

Each individual is unique, human diversity is great; so there are no universal rules governing what matters. The way and its struggle is different for each person, but the formula closest to being able to claim universality I can think of would be Nietzsche's "become who you are".

Reads like an ad for Nike.

I think such an approach to life is generally an unbalanced one. — Abdul

What does an unbalanced life mean and how would you demonstrate that this is the case?

One should always spend time reflecting and evaluating their own judgment, sharpening the moral self if you will. I — Abdul

What does it mean to reflect? When is it done and how is it done?

What does sharpening the moral self mean?

I wouldn't practically heavily rely on one of my virtues such an intuit as attractive as it may seem. — Abdul

I don't understand this sentence? Are you saying that you do not trust your own judgements?

Reads like instructions for going to the outhouse.

Shitting matters more than prestige footwear.

True, shitting is essential to survival, but if instructions are required something is terribly amiss. Feeling alive in the sense I have in mind is not essential to survival, but is rare; no instructions can be given and prestige footwear won't help. Go figure, eh?

...but if instructions are required something is terribly amiss. — Janus

Never used a pubic toilet?

Feeling alive is pleasant, but does it matter? Naturalistic fallacy, yet again.

General gripe: , , , and you all posit suggestions that fall at this first hurdle. What we wish to do is not always what we ought to do. Nor can one derive what we ought do from what we in fact do. Basic stuff.

I agree, except for you spelling of arse. An undesirable Americanism.

Never used a pubic toilet?

Feeling alive is pleasant, but does it matter? Naturalistic fallacy, yet again.

General gripe: ↪Deus
, ↪Yohan
, ↪Seeker
, ↪I like sushi
and you all posit suggestions that fall at this first hurdle. What we wish to do is not always what we ought to do. Nor can one derive what we ought do from what we in fact do. Basic stuff. — Banno

I was referring to shitting and specifically outhouses, not public toilets. I hate using them and avoid it as much as possible, but I have never needed instructions.

If you don't feel alive then your life is wasted, so of course it matters. It has nothing to do with naturalism.

There is not "what we ought to do", other than try to feel alive and to appreciate the life in others. Everything follows without the need for instructions. Instructions are for the machine men.

but I have never needed instructions. — Janus

I'm sure it's not you who shits on the seat or bleeds in the sink, but it is apparent that instructions for using public toilets in a way that does not put others at risk might be of use.

If you don't feel alive then your life is wasted, — Janus

Why? We might make your unhappy life not a waste by harvesting your organs...

You haven't presented, and can't, present an argument because you can't move from what is the fact to what ought to be the fact.

Otherwise, it's just organ harvesting or advertising slogans.

Why? We might make your unhappy life not a waste by harvesting your organs...

You haven't presented, and can't, present an argument because you can't move from what is the fact to what ought to be the fact.

Otherwise, it's just organ harvesting or advertising slogans. — Banno

If no one feels alive then life is wasted. and harvested organs won't help, so you're only kicking the can down the road.

I don't need to present an argument; it is self-evident that the life lived with a vivid intensity of feeling is better than the unlived life; a life that manifests a paucity of feeling; a life of just organ harvesting and advertising slogans. Is the latter the life you want for yourself and others?

it is self-evident... — Janus

Ok, so long as you are happy...

:roll:

You don't look so happy there; what's the matter?

It's bloody raining again. Can't get out in the garden.

It's raining up here too. I have a fractured ankle and have been more or less stuck in the house for the last five weeks, so it doesn't make so much difference to me. The dogs would like me to go outside and throw the ball for them, but they're not hassling me as they usually would if it were not raining. Hopefully it'll ease off and I'll be able to attend to their desire for ball action. :smile:

So what matters is that it stop raining.

Ankles are so badly designed. Proof that there is no god, or that he's a right arsehole.Or that things started to go bad when we came down from the trees. Poor choice on our ancestor's part.

So what matters is that it stop raining. — Banno

Right, so that we can do what makes us feel more alive.

Ankles are so badly designed. Proof that there is no god, or that he's a right arsehole. I think things started to go bad when we came down from the trees. — Banno

Right, down from the trees, or up on two legs. In my case I came down about 2.5 metres on a ladder that slipped out from its position leaning against a wall; I came down vertically and landed with my whole weight on the right foot, it being still on the rung. Never had a problem with my ankles previously.

Right, so that we can do what makes us feel more alive. — Janus

You never have such a clear and distinct apprehension of the fact of being alive as when you are bored shitless. Which entirely undermines your point.

I was up on the roof yesterday, trying to locate a leak. I hate ladders. Treacherous, unreliable contrivance of the devil. Killed a friend, one did, moving under him so as to cast him down.

Think I'll go and paint turps and linseed oil the handles on my garden tools.

You never have such a clear and distinct apprehension of the fact of being alive as when you are bored shitless. Which entirely undermines your point. — Banno

No, since I was talking about feeling alive, not noticing the fact that you are alive. I hardly ever feel bored, and when I do it certainly does not consist in feeling alive; quite the opposite. But maybe that's just me; you know, human diversity...

I consider myself lucky to have come down vertically and not sideways onto the drop saw that might have led to my demise.

I also use (gum) turpentine and linseed oil on my wooden tool handles. Works well on steel too, once any rust has been removed.