The likelihood of me existing exactly as I am right now in this moment (or you for that matter) is either 1 - absolutely certain due to the fact that I am here, living and breathing and thinking about this, or, it is infitisimally small with an exceptionally large amount of zeros after the decimal point - such an unlikely thing to happen due to the trillions of trillions of permutations that could have gone another way in the 13.8 billion year lead up to "me" (lol), or the millions of ancestors that could have died instead of successfully procreating, or the billions of other sperm and eggs that could have fertilised together, or all my life choices that I could have made differently leading to someone with a different life experience, personality differences etc.

So either the universe was hell bent on making me because my probability was and always would have been 1 from the very start. Or I am here so ridiculously miraculously, against so many odds that I cant even comprehend that I should just be flabbergasted at the significance of my insignificance. In either case the conclusion is bizarre and wonderful no? I (and you) am imperative and necessary to everything i sense around me or I am not but still managed to manifest despite trillions of ways not to.


The only thing I couldn't wrap my head around is a probability in the middle. A probability of half that I would exist or not . Because it sounds funny and not at all intuitive. But if every action has an equal and opposite reaction and we live in a panpyschic universe and if sexual reproduction is based on halfs then perhaps that is the case? Curiouser and curiouser.