• Shawn
    12.6k
    This whole year this far has been something hellish for me. I really don't know what to do at the moment as I am having some evil thoughts that are driven by some uncontrollable desire to destroy.

    I have these rather suicidal and homicidal thoughts which are driven as if my unconsciousness. It's like my conscience is being hated by my own self, whatever that means.

    I am considering trying to make a very prolonged stay in a psychiatric hospital in my area. Yet, I have seen some people under custody of a family member absolutely hate and revile their predicament. I don't want that to happen to myself. It feels like a difficult and utterly hopeless situation. Personally, in one of my stays at a psychiatric hospital, I felt safe and at peace. There is a sacrifice in terms of freedom and entertaining some personal whim...

    What would you do?
  • Streetlight
    9.1k
    If you felt safe and at peace the first time, there's good reason to think you will feel the same if you commit yourself again. Do such institutions do 'consultations' or something similar? I think it would be a good idea to at least speak to a professional to assess your situation. Whatever it is, don't let yourself hurt yourself, or anyone else.
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    If you felt safe and at peace the first time, there's good reason to think you will feel the same if you commit yourself again. Do such institutions do 'consultations' or something similar? I think it would be a good idea to at least speak to a professional to assess your situation. Whatever it is, don't let yourself hurt yourself, or anyone else.StreetlightX

    Yes, well... The scary thoughts have subsided, and I got reassurance from unenlightened that sometimes these thought have a sense of normalcy given the context.

    I'm still healing, and think the process of healing won't subside anytime soon. So, for the moment, I'm monitoring myself with vigilance, and think that the best option is to take it easy given the hysteria and fear in the world.

    Thanks for your concern; but, having to eat whenever I want to, or shower whenever, or sleep when I feel like it, or surf the internet, are things that I value at a higher rate than deprivation of them by commitment to a psychiatric unit.
  • Baden
    15.6k


    You're among friends here even if we are sometimes tough on you.
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