Beyond the obvious fact the Universe is too big for other intelligent life to not arise because only an infantile narcissist would believe that evolution only happens on Earth and nowhere else. However, it is highly unlikely extraterrestrials, if they were to come here, would be like E.T. Instead, they are more likely to be the War of the Worlds variety. As such, we seriously should stop trying to send messages to them!

Based on newly released top secret government documents on events and findings in Area 51, the existence of extraterrestrials is no longer a question but an answer. On December 22 in the year 2018, leading military officials reported to the President of the United States that a message was received by the powerful Very Large Array telescope with the following content:

Dear Earthlings,

Please stop sending us messages with naked pictures of yourselves with instructions on how to get to your home. It is incredibly creepy and if it does not stop, we will be forced to increase the frequency of butt probing many times over.

Sincerely,

The Aliens

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