• DeadLight
    6
    So I am new to these forums and my communication/knowledge of wording is not great but I am hoping people will bare with me I am here for knowledge/understanding.

    Recently I just had a big brake up I was in love he was my first love and I had to leave him because we wanted different things although it hurt a lot but I learned a lot a lot from him I am now on the path of learning self,since then I am in a new relationship which is difficult when learning to find yourself.

    Today my boyfriend told me he wasn't over his ex (she killed herself when they were both about 15) he blames himself and has even told me I remind him of her this however is not a problem for me but I am realizing a pattern in people I have been with this has happened to me many times where someone I have been with isn't over someone although it hurts me all I want to do is help everyone on to the path of self also...

    Exsistance is painful so lets help guide everyone into alignment knowledge is my satisfaction.

    Sorry if all that was kind of all over the place im trying to find more people that think like me so we can expand our knowledge honestly this is me asking for help.
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    Hi,

    I think you are kind and good hearted. I would be careful for being used as a template onto which another might project their desires and wishes onto, where you would comply, but eventually feel anguish on both sides for not being bona fide.

    I wish you well.
  • DeadLight
    6
    Thank you honestly I have felt like I was born a temple my mom used me in the begging for healing... I knew I should have stayed alone longer but im not in a place where I can be alone and I have already fallen in love again I know he loves me to ,but he has told me he wanted to die just to be with her but also doesn't want to die because I remind him of her.

    And here I get lost again on someone else and lose track of myself I want to be in this relationship but also try to focus on me.
  • DeadLight
    6
    I know expanding my knowledge of the mind is what gives me satisfaction and so I want to put most of my time into this and helping others expand there knowledge also
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    he has told me he wanted to die just to be with her but also doesn't want to die because I remind him of her.DeadLight

    This is a very tricky situation, as if he was goading you into conforming into his image of his previous significant other. But at the same time it's unacceptable for you to not be yourself with him. I hope others can help you more.

    Cheers.
  • DeadLight
    6
    I know he just cant get over why she did it and I understand
  • DeadLight
    6
    All I want to do in life is end the suffering of exsistance nothing really hurts me anymore except seeing how lost and ignorant the world is
  • I like sushi
    4.3k
    Drop offline and read a selection of books on one topic with vastly different views (subject doesn’t matter as long as you have genuine interest in the subject).

    Take a month or two. Let it all gestate.

    GL
  • DeadLight
    6


    Thank you I will do that I have been looking into Carl Jung, I never was a reader before but im open to anything that will help
  • I like sushi
    4.3k
    Compliment his views with others. Also, look more into the biochemistry involved and more ‘hard science’ position.

    WARNING! Many ‘New Age’ types misrepresented a lot of Jung’s ideas. Get your information from teh horse’s mouth NOT some second hand source; be wary of the Deepak delusions.

    Behaviorial Biology is a furtive area to study and a compliment more psychologically tilted views - plus psychology mainstream has moved away from the psychoanalytic approach.

    I cannot overly recommend Sapolsky’s series of lectures on youtube enough! (easily the most engaging lecturer I’ve seen on video and doesn’t waste time getting into the meat of the subject):

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NNnIGh9g6fA
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