Bad Faith

Rob J Kennedy

This has nothing to do with that American hardcore-punk band from Austin, Texas, but Sartre was really onto something when he coined the concept “Bad Faith”.

To paraphrase, Bad faith arises when individuals attempt to escape the burden of this radical freedom by denying their own capacity for choice.

It hit home to me this week in a very personal way.

After twenty years of marriage, I know I have been living in bad faith. I haven’t felt connected, loved, wanted or needed for years. I’m sure my partner would say the same. She’s busy, I’m busy, we don’t click, and maybe, we never did.

Do we go on living in bad faith and deny the issues for the sake of not ending this thing? Or is that worse than having bad faith in ourselves? I’d say it’s worse. But living in bad faith means never being honest with yourself, and of course, others, significant others. Is that a life?

I’m not looking for advice, but simply to say that, maybe, philosophy, does not work in real situations. Or, maybe it work too well? Is philosophy the real truth-teller?

Rob

frank

↪Rob J Kennedy

My experience with ending a long term relationship was that I died halfway through it. I'm somebody else now. It was pretty bloody, too, in a poetic way. Wanting to change is the sickness unto death.

tim wood

Nothing works in any situation unless used correctly. The most that may be appropriately said on this forum is go find a good counselor (or be counseled by bad counselors yourself included).

Sir2u

I’m not looking for advice, but simply to say that, maybe, philosophy, does not work in real situations. Or, maybe it work too well? Is philosophy the real truth-teller? — Rob J Kennedy

Philosophy is not a problem solver, it is a way of think that can be used to solve problems.

Any union of people in bad faith, whether a job, club or marriage is bad for your mental health.
Give it up and find something that that will make life pleasant.

T Clark

Philosophy is not a problem solver, it is a way of think that can be used to solve problems. — Sir2u

Yes, exactly.

T Clark

Bad faith arises when individuals attempt to escape the burden of this radical freedom by denying their own capacity for choice...Do we go on living in bad faith and deny the issues for the sake of not ending this thing? — Rob J Kennedy

It's not clear to me if you want to discuss whether Sartre's idea of bad faith is a good way at looking at freedom and responsibility (Hint - no, it's selfish, lazy, and irresponsible). If that's not what you're looking for, I'll leave it at that.

As I see it, none of that has anything to do with your personal situation. How can doing something because some philosopher might think you should be an act of radical freedom? You don't owe Sartre anything. You also can't use him to get you off the hook for a personal decision.

Hanover

↪Rob J Kennedy

If you define bad faith as anything less than open, honest communication, then you're in bad faith by not having the conversation with your wife that you're having with us.

If you define bad faith some other way, where interests are weighed, like believing the preservation of the marriage matters or the intersts of the children (if any) ought be weighed, then it's not necessarily bad faith to withhold information.

But, as others have said, this isn't advice. It's analytic philosophy, working with terms and definitions.

Talk to a therapist. I'd love to tell you that there's a principle that honesty at all costs, damn the torpedoes, is always in order as a matter of obligation. That would then clean up all the messiness of figuring out what your highly particularized situation demands.

Unfortunately though, life is too complicated for an easy answer.

AmadeusD

Looks like @Hanover has covered it, but on any conception of Bad Faith i'm aware, you coming here to say this instead of talking to your wife about hte underlying tension you're feeling is bad faith, in regard to the marriage. If that's how you feel, don't shirk it to a forum of intellectual ner-do-wells.

LuckyR

↪Rob J Kennedy

The fact is while your reality is worse than your estimation of "optimal", it's better than your estimation of what divorce has to offer, otherwise you guys would be moving towards divorce, but you're not.

Bad Faith

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