• Shawn
    12.6k
    The house I live in is under the name of both my father and mother. My father recently started a division of joint assets in the US, as they divorced in a foreign country.

    My father hasn't contributed a penny to pay for the mortgage of the house or any financial help since he divorced my mother some 15 years ago. My mother never got alimony or anything out of the divorce in another country (Poland).

    The way things are going in court, it looks like it will be a 50/50 split between both my mother and father. My mother and I live under the poverty level, and I'm not sure what will persuade the judge to give us a favorable share of the house.

    There really isn't anything I feel like I can do, and all this shit flying up in the air is causing me a lot of turmoil and distress.

    My mother wants to find a lender to pay off my dad's share of the house and then move out somewhere and live in another state (we're currently in California) and such. The house needs some work done on it, and we think some fixing of it could lead to better resale value.

    My friend told me it would be better to just sell the house (in current state appraised to be worth 950k) and move to another state where we may use some of the money saved to invest in a CD and live off that money.

    I don't really want to move; but, that's how the cookie crumbles, I think.

    What would you do, given this predicament?
  • leo
    882
    The way things are going in court, it looks like it will be a 50/50 split between both my mother and father. My mother and I live under the poverty level, and I'm not sure what will persuade the judge to give us a favorable share of the house.Wallows

    Why doesn't the following persuade the judge to give your mother a favorable share?

    My father hasn't contributed a penny to pay for the mortgage of the house or any financial help since he divorced my mother some 15 years ago. My mother never got alimony or anything out of the divorce in another countryWallows
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    Why doesn't the following persuade the judge to give your mother a favorable share?leo

    Well, at this point I'm not even sure if our lawyer is on our side, given his attitude. He said he mentioned it to the judge; but, when we had a meeting in regards to a settlement to be achieved, we still got a 50/50 judgement from the judge. So, I'm pretty effin lost right now.
  • leo
    882
    Well, at this point I'm not even sure if our lawyer is on our side, given his attitude.Wallows

    That's certainly possible, there is an element of subjectivity in justice, you can get different results with different lawyers. I think your mother and you should try to pick a lawyer that you feel comfortable with, that you feel is on your side, and then it will be easier to bring the judge on your side too.
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    That's certainly possible, there is an element of subjectivity in justice, you can get different results with different lawyers. I think your mother and you should try to pick a lawyer that you feel comfortable with, that you feel is on your side, and then it will be easier to bring the judge on your side too.leo

    It's too late for that now. We are at the endgame of this divorce, and my mother's lawyer is what he is. I'm really sad about this whole situation and want to be over it already.
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    I feel like throwing my life away at the moment. I have no reason to live, (pretty much disabled for life given my diagnosis), and looking forward to death. I have my mother whom I don't want to impose more grief on; but, life seems so uninteresting, that I am seriously contemplating suicide. It has been on my mind for some 15 years now, and it's getting really tiring waiting on death to knock on my door.

    I mean, we all die eventually? So, what's the problem with suicide?
  • leo
    882
    I feel like throwing my life away at the moment. I have no reason to live, (pretty much disabled for life given my diagnosis), and looking forward to death. I have my mother whom I don't want to impose more grief on; but, life seems so uninteresting, that I am seriously contemplating suicide. It has been on my mind for some 15 years now, and it's getting really tiring waiting on death to knock on my door.Wallows

    You know what my point of view on mental illnesses is, even if you don't agree with it. I don't believe you are disabled for life, and I don't believe you have to see it that way either.

    Is there really no way to change the lawyer at this point? Or to speak directly to the judge?

    I remember reading some posts of yours where you mentioned that you were happy with how you lived your life with your mother. It seems to me that it is this whole prospect of moving to a different unfamiliar place that is making you feel down at the moment.

    But even if moving turns out to be inevitable, just wait. Wait and see how it's gonna be. You don't know where that will be yet. Maybe you will like it. Maybe the change of scenery will change you in a way you don't expect or can't imagine now. Maybe you will meet some people there who will give you a different outlook on life.

    Or fight right now for what you believe your mother and you deserve. If it isn't right that your father gets a 50/50 split, if you are convinced it isn't right, then don't agree to it, fight to make your voice heard. Your life doesn't have to depend on a bad lawyer, don't kill yourself because of a bad lawyer, because it seems like that's essentially what it boils down to right now.
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    I remember reading some posts of yours where you mentioned that you were happy with how you lived your life with your mother. It seems to me that it is this whole prospect of moving to a different unfamiliar place that is making you feel down at the moment.leo

    Yeah, until my psycho-father decided that he wants half the house. I should be honest with myself, though, and can't say I should be surprised over what has recently happened. I mean, it was bound to happen eventually at some point. I guess, I just never wanted it to happen...
  • Shawn
    12.6k
    So, I think I finally found something that will pin my father down in court. Under US law, you are required to report earnings, property, and assets held in/from foreign countries, to the IRS. My father in his deposition to the court testified that he worked and rented the house we lived in overseas during his time there.

    We obtained his 2017 tax report, and there is no mention of assets held in the foreign country or earnings he made over there. In fact, during the whole 15 years spent in that country, I don't think he once reported anything to the IRS about income derived from the stock market (which he invested heavily in), properties, or work-related activities.

    Now, my mom and I are pressing him to disclose his 2018 taxes, which he reluctantly is trying to avoid due to showing to the court that he can make enough money to subsist and live well off.

    I was told by our attorney that these tax reports and discrepancies with his deposition might not affect the outcome of the trial; but, will show his propensity to lie.

    Does anyone have any ideas on how to use this information towards the goal of attaining a favorable judgment by US courts? We also have joint-filled tax reports during the period of their marriage in the US, showing a good sum of money earned here, being funneled eventually into said foreign country. My hope is to show, net income for the duration of the 15-20 years worked in the US, which eventually got mostly transferred to said foreign country, and present to the judge the picture of our current state of affairs.
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