One of the things that is pissing me off about the comments on this thread is the absolute certainty that a man of forty could not have good intentions towards a girl of 17. A lot of men and women live with people a lot younger than they are. — Sir2u

Absolutely, I personally know a couple with a twenty one year age gap, a ex-student and a teacher at college. They are happily married and have been for the ten years I've known them. They have a wonderful little girl who is doted on by both.

Absolutely, I personally know a couple with a twenty one year age gap, a ex-student and a teacher at college. They are happily married and have been for the ten years I've known them. They have a wonderful little girl who is doted on by both. — Pseudonym

Throw 'em in jail! :roll:

The sad truth is that some people can't see past their own prejudice, or refuse to do so for fear that they might be succumbing to something dark and sinister. Some may even wear their prejudice as a badge of pride, or they'll convince themselves that their status somehow vindicates their prejudice, rather than serves as an indication of bias, and as a conflict of interest which should be a cause for concern. "As a parent... As a Christian... As your elder... I'm not racist, but..."

Indeed, well said.

, A child physically old enough to perform sexually should be given appropriate information about sex and sexuality. — Bitter Crank

Far too late.
Children are much better equipped to know all about sex from the earliest possible age. As soon as they can talk. This protects them and prepares them.

Thank you for the literature pointers.

One of the things that is pissing me off about the comments on this thread is the absolute certainty that a man of forty could not have good intentions towards a girl of 17. A lot of men and women live with people a lot younger than they are. — Sir2u

Sir, my intention is not to piss you off in any way. I agree that there are men who are over 40 who could have good intentions toward a girl of 17. In fact I think that a man of 40 yrs old could teach a younger woman a good trick or two that she can carry with her into her next sexual relationship. There are men of 40 yrs old that are witty enough, caring enough, deep enough, worldly enough, compassionate enough to have a very positive effect on a girl of 17 but she should be able to get that filled by her Dad. Even though I admit that there are benefits of a 17 yr old with a 40 yr old relationship, I do not think it is a healthy relationship, not at that age, not with that big of an age discrepancy.

I mostly agree with that, but as with all rules there are exceptions. I doubt that most young minded 17 year old would even bother thinking about a relationship with a man twice her age. But there are quite a few more mature ones that don't like the idea of being messed around with by boys their own age that in most cases have no idea how to treat a lady correctly.

And not all dads fill the role model position very well.

What would you say if it was your 17 year old son with a very attractive woman of 40?

Just found this in the yahoo not so news.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/3011c67e-3b37-3359-ba46-0dadccbdbe06/ss_ex-student-sues-lake-forest.html

Check out the comments at the end.

I too agree ArguingWAristotleTiff, and I would also like to say that if it was in fact my 17 year old child who was in a relationship with an adult in their 40's, I would most definitely be against it, regardless of how attractive that person is. I know that you specifically stated 17 year old SONS in your question, but in my opinion, the gender of the child shouldn't have any effect on our behavior in this instance.

I know that you specifically stated 17 year old SONS in your question, but in my opinion, the gender of the child shouldn't have any effect on our behavior in this instance. — Joe

But it does, most people tend to look the other way when it is a male don't they. They are more protective of the weaker sex.

Check out the comments at the end. — Sir2u

He had better hope the jury isn't drawn from Yahoo user lists.

But I sort of agree, up to a point. I don't know about girls, but boys certainly fantasize about having sex with adults. Whether it was a good, bad, or forgettable experience would depend a lot on the personality of the adult. Sex with a lot of adults just wouldn't be that much fun for a lot of other adults, let alone a 13 year old. Where is a hebephile (prefers older children than pedophiles) when you need one? They are supposed to be good at sex with young teenagers.

He had better hope the jury isn't drawn from Yahoo user lists. — Bitter Crank

I am not sure about that, some of them, might force him to pay the teacher and ask the judge to put the idiot in jail to find out exactly what being traumatized really is.

I attempted to lay out an objective response to this a while back, and hope I made somewhat of a contribution, and I was wondering where you (tree falls) stand on the issue now, having had so much participation in the discussion?

Have you found any reccurring points that ring true, or have you developed a clearer idea of where you stand morally on the questions you first put forward? I'm very interested to know how the whole process has affected your perspective, and whether any particular post gave you a "eureka!" moment? The psychologist in me is very curious about the efficacy of asking a philisophically minded group for assistance in reaching a philisophical position, and then implementing it in real life! - That's not alluding to a propensity for indecisiveness among philosophers :) more to do with examining how minds can synthesize individual ideas to form higher levels of understanding (or whether strongly developed contrasting ideas grow more nuanced in opposing directions). I'm waffling, sorry - just curious to see how these posts influence the person who starts the discussion.

Also, has the visit past, and how did it go? What decisions did you make (if you don't mind me asking?)

Thanks @Tree Falls