• TheMadFool
    13.8k
    I don't recall exactly when I heard the term "crocodile tears" but it, for sure, wasn't used in a positive light. Not long after I came to know that "crocodile tears" are used to refer to fake sorrow, complete with tears:

    Crocodile tears (or superficial sympathy) is a false, insincere display of emotion such as a hypocrite crying fake tears of grief. — Wikipedia

    To accuse someone of shedding "crocodile tears" is to hold him/her guilty of quite a severe moral transgression - that of faking sadness when, in fact, it's entirely possible that s/he could actually be ecstatic at whatever is the tragedy.

    Prima facie, this take on tragedy and our response to it makes moral sense but if you make the effort to give it a decent overhaul, you realize that to ask someone to be genuinely sad and cry their heart out is to demand that that person be actually sad - bear the full brunt of a tragedy. Isn't this, to wish that someone feel real pain, itself something highly immoral? Reminds me of sadism with the only difference being that those who want genuine sorrow from people as opposed to mere crocodile tears don't derive pleasure, as the sadist does from the same, but are only content or something thereabouts.

    Given all what I've said, don't you think crocodile tears are better than genuine weeping? In the former case, the people concerned aren't actually sad so, :up: and in the latter case there are people experiencing real suffering so, :down:

    What say you?
  • Pfhorrest
    4.6k
    I suspect that the negative light on "crocodile tears" is because of an implied deception, an attempt at manipulation -- making someone think you're sad so that they will respond in some way that would be appropriate if you were, but isn't when you aren't.

    Aside from that though, I agree completely. If someone has it in their power to not experience actual suffering, but to still behave in a comforting and sympathetic way to people who are, that is the best of both worlds.

    It's much like my take on existential angst, and how I escaped from the vicious cycle thereof last year. Yes, dying is bad, and one should do everything they can to prevent that. But constant, paralyzing fear of death is also bad. Best if one can not experience fear of death, yet still behave in ways to avoid it.

    In general, it's best if one can not experience the suffering associated with bad things that do occur, yet still behave in a way to mitigate and prevent them from occurring in the first place.
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    Gave it some more thought and the results:

    If crocodile tears are better than genuine crying because not feeling sad is better than actually feeling sad then, being happy for real is better than crocodile tears. In other words, if one is to be truly concerned about the wellbeing of others, one should wish that everything, including one's personal tragedies, be utterly ridiculous occasions for laughter.

    You mentioned deception but if one is to be a truly good person, fanatically so it seems, being deceived is a small price to pay if you can make at least one person happy. It's so difficult to make people happy, I'm sure your own experiences will vouch for me.

    :chin:
  • Pfhorrest
    4.6k
    being happy for real is better than crocodile tears.TheMadFool

    Those aren't contrary things.

    The crocodile tears are a behavior, and so part of others' experiences. They can improve others' experiences, if they feel understood and sympathized with. And it is good if you genuinely care about their suffering, and aim to mitigate or prevent it. The crocodile tears emotionally convey that genuine caring, by mirroring their own sadness back at them.

    But your happiness is your own experience. You can be perfectly contented yourself, and yet also show sympathy to others, show that you understand that they hurt and the reasons why they hurt, so as to improve their own emotional state, even though yours is fine and needs no improvement.
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