I'm afraid of losing life
  • I-wonder
    47
    I'm not a genius writer, so if you see anything you don't like, just be forgiving, and don't try to kill me in the comments.

    How?

    How can I feel tranquil about losing all value in existing, in losing consciousness itself and forever?
    I know, I know Epicurian philosophy is the fix, no, I read Epicurus, and I disagree, my concern with death isn't death itself, but it's about life.

    I cannot feel good about losing the opportunity to feel, to experience love, food, peace of mind, happiness, and even sadness, anger, and fear because those help me in my development as a human being.
    I know that some or even most fellow agnostic/atheists disagree with me saying things along the line :
    • You are fearing something that if you are, it isn't and if it is you aren't.
    • You won't feel anything ( oh wow! ) so you won't feel this fear, and you won't be upset.
    • You are the reason religion still exists
    Maybe it's because I used to take the afterlife for granted, I should say that I was a religious 16 years old kid, very religious, diving deep into the religion was enough to realize the contradictions in Islam and the horrible things were said even if it has some good things.
    Right after that a hellish 2 years of reading and searching and having the worst existential angst, I became what I am today, a lot stronger, a lot humble and embracing uncertainty and scepticism, I don't want to believe something too much and repeat it all over again, plus it's only rational to be uncertain.
    But still, the hardest thing that I'm still having trouble with is losing a life.
    Whatever I can think of to ease it: We don't know what happens after death, There is an infinite amount of universes so there are copies of me( ironically, I don't anything in common with them ), The universe repeats itself ( just a theory, with weak evidence ), Epicurian philosophy, and the pantheistic view...
    All of them gave something, especially the Spinoza view, but none of them is enough to accept losing a life.
    I might be too picky, I might be asking too much from you, but I'm just a human being.
    Thanks for writing your response.
    I-wonder Options
  • unenlightened
    8.7k
    I cannot feel good about losing the opportunity to feel, — I-wonder

    Nor should you. But fear is too small an emotion for the case.

    unenlightened Options
  • Zophie
    176
    How? I don't know, dude. Comedy and cuteness. We do a trial-run of losing our life with sleep, no?

    If it helps, the sum of information comprising a life will outlast the duration of that life. Potentially forever.
    Zophie Options
  • tim wood
    8.7k
    All of them gave something, especially the Spinoza view, but none of them is enough to accept losing a life.
    I might be too picky, I might be asking too much from you, but I'm just a human being.     — I-wonder

    But fear is too small an emotion for the case. — unenlightened
    I think this is the thinking that matters. Try reading Tennyson's Ulysses
    https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45392/ulysses
    for an expanded view.

    I line I heard somewhere stays with me, "Remember all of those who have gone before." The idea is that death is part of having a life. It seems to me that for reasons of your own, maybe some psych issues, you haven't grokked either death or life. But in sum that's your job. The good part is that everyone gets to do their own good version of it. So get on it! A rehab center I got to know had a neat motto, "Get better! Get well! Get out! Life's not a rehab center. So get yourself well, better, and on with it. .
    tim wood Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    Zophie, thanks for the reply.
    We do a trial-run of losing our life with sleep, no?
    I disagree, I don't have a problem with deep sleep, anaesthesia and the like because of, I have them so I can live, whether it is surgery to make my life better, or just sleeping after a long day at university, with the will to wake up tomorrow to go and do things you want/should do,
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    Nor should you. But fear is too small an emotion for the case. — unenlightened

    So What should I do?
    Anything I can think of as meaningful is within my consciousness, which is lost when we die.
    I mean even without the fear, it's clear it's a big loss.
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪tim wood

    Thank you for your kind words.
    I hate to say it after all that you said.
    "But" those who died before me, lost exactly what I don't want to lose.
    Sorry for being selfish.
    I-wonder Options
  • tim wood
    8.7k
    ↪I-wonder
    Well, it seems to me the matter is all in the eye of the beholder. Do you have a cat? You may have noticed that cats are fearless, a good lesson there. Or another way: life is a big dish of delicious ice cream. You can sit and watch it melt and attract flies or you can eat it. Which?

    Probably around you are reasonably healthy people living reasonable lives. Maybe inventory what some of them are doing. Throw out the stupid, the ignorant, the dangerous. What's left? Most of the good stuff. Are you having any? If not then you don't even know what you're thinking about! If it is a matter of some psych issues, then you need to fight them, because they will eat you up entirely and completely if you let them.
    tim wood Options
  • A Seagull
    615
    ↪I-wonder


    An individual life is what is experienced between birth and death. One cannot lose a life, one can only shorten it.
    A Seagull Options
  • unenlightened
    8.7k
    Anything I can think of as meaningful is within my consciousness, which is lost when we die.
    I mean even without the fear, it's clear it's a big loss.     — I-wonder

    That is a slightly different question. Do you find yourself meaningless because you are not infinitely big?

    The daffodils have finished, and the tulips are getting raggedy, so they are going into the back garden to finish and die down, and I'm bringing out the geraniums and begonias. Flowers are not meaningless because they are short-lived any more than they are meaningless because they are short stemmed. And nor are you and I.

    But don't worry about meaning only being in your consciousness - I mean really - the world is more extensive and more meaningful and more beautiful and terrible and just way more in every dimension, than your consciousness. I you limit yourself to that, then you are bound to have problems.
    unenlightened Options
  • Zophie
    176
    I became [..] a lot humble and embracing uncertainty and scepticism, I don't want to believe something too much and repeat it all over again, plus it's only rational to be uncertain. — I-wonder
    Maybe this is the issue. A dash of coherentism, a drop of foundationalism, and some pragmatism, too.

    Add some nihilistic egoism Tao-style utilitarianism, and voila, you've made a something. Delicious!
    Zophie Options
  • I like sushi
    4.3k
    When you’re watching a movie do you stop it halfway through and never think about what happens next?

    If the answer is yes, you’re unique.

    If the answer is no, apply that to living your life.

    OR go with Socrates and view death as an unopened gift.
    I like sushi Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    Probably around you are reasonably healthy people living reasonable lives. — tim wood

    Around me are religious people, that don't see their mortality, and believe in the absurd, even my family, unfortunately.
    About psych problems, I think I have but, they aren't the source of fearing losing life, they only make life more complicated.
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    Do you have a cat? You may have noticed that cats are fearless, a good lesson there. Or another way: life is a big dish of delicious ice cream. You can sit and watch it melt and attract flies or you can eat it. Which? — tim wood

    Cats are fearless? I don't think so, I never saw a brave cat.
    As for the ice cream, I'll eat a bit, but pause think about it, then repeat, probably.
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪I like sushi

    Yea, but I don't think I'm unique many people stop to think about it, especially in deep movies like Inception and the like
    OR go with Socrates and view death as an unopened gift. — I like sushi

    Yeah, I think he is right, but the more we know about the universe the more it is improbable that there is something after body death, so I don't want to hope on something so improbable
    I-wonder Options
  • I like sushi
    4.3k
    ↪I-wonder
    Therapy. GL
    I like sushi Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    Maybe this is the issue. A dash of coherentism, a drop of foundationalism, and some pragmatism, too.

    Add some nihilistic egoism Tao-style utilitarianism, and voila, you've made a something. Delicious!     — Zophie

    Beautifully put, I have no idea what it means though.
    I-wonder Options
  • neonspectraltoast
    258
    The night my cat died, she came to me. There were no indications that she was going to die. But she just sat at the foot of my bed and stared at me. I had no idea I truly meant anything to her, and I just laughed and thought it was absurd, the way she was staring at me.

    In her sleep she began running, and I laughed again. Silly cat. In the morning she was lifeless, still in the pose as if she was running.
    neonspectraltoast Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪unenlightened
    But If consciousness didn't involve, no one could have seen the beauty and elegance of the universe.
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪I like sushi
    So it's a good idea!
    Father! I am an atheist who thinks you are believing in BS, and because I don't believe in that comforting BS, I want to go to a therapist, who is Muslim to tell him/her what I feel and find a solution.
    I can't as you can imagine
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    An individual life is what is experienced between birth and death. One cannot lose a life, one can only shorten it. — A Seagull

    Um, that's exactly my problem, and my question is how can I face the loss of this amazing gift called life.
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪neonspectraltoast
    Wow
    That's amazing and really sad.
    I'm sorry for your loss
    don't you miss your cat? don't you find sadness that she doesn't exist or feel anything at all? and how does that affect your view on death?
    I-wonder Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪I like sushi

    BTW, what will therapy do for me?
    Tell me to just live.
    I-wonder Options
  • NOS4A2
    8.3k
    ↪I-wonder


    Unfortunately for us we do know what happens after death and we have the cadaver farms to prove it. But because life is brief makes it all the more priceless. Without death life would be worthless.
    NOS4A2 Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    Thank everyone for moving this discussion.
    I apologize if my responses look close-minded, I'm just not convinced.
    I-wonder Options
  • Zophie
    176
    ↪I-wonder
    I'll translate. Look for the base of all knowledge with humor, since you'll never find the ultimate reason. Look for the knowledge which fits into other knowledge with some humor, since convenience is not always truth. And since the practical reigns supreme, try to go with the flow and view things for their utility as a rolling stone who believes nothing is absolutely certain outside of the rolling stone.

    Make sense?
    Zophie Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪Zophie

    Yeah, I understand your point, isn't that just living until you die?
    Don't get me wrong it's a good way to see things
    I-wonder Options
  • neonspectraltoast
    258
    If you want to be convinced, just watch an old movie and fully ascertain that the people you're watching, in the present - though dead - are fully convinced that they are alive.
    neonspectraltoast Options
  • I-wonder
    47
    ↪NOS4A2
    Without death life would be worthless. — NOS4A2

    If life was eternal, and the world was eternal, I don't see it as without value, do you?

    And yes, I meant the possibility of a soul, which close to zero, but it's still there
    I-wonder Options
  • neonspectraltoast
    258
    Once alive, always alive. The universe can't dispute this.
    neonspectraltoast Options
  • neonspectraltoast
    258
    ↪I-wonder


    No, I don't miss her. She was/is a reality. A fact. So are you. So am I. Facts are beyond time.
    neonspectraltoast Options
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