Is there an ethical opprobrium in regards to ignoring a good person
  • Susu
    22
    In regards to this dilemma, I've encountered a flurry of different responses. I have tried to search online for it, all I found was advice on ignoring someone who supposedly has an unacceptable quality... But I don't see anyone addressing the idea of ignoring someone who does no harm. My question is directed at the ethics with respect to the decision of ignoring such person. Personally, it does have consequences towards the well-being of a person, therefore it is a moral issue that needs to be dealt with. I sincerely don't think that abruptly ignoring someone is a proper move to cut someone off their lives especially when they know it's going to give them the impression of being arrogant and incompassionate. Everyone deserves basic respect and good treatment. If one has the least bit of compassion, they would use proper methods to gradually cut someone off their lives.

    Take this scenario... Two guys hit it off on the outset, they hang out a couple of times and suddenly one of them abruptly ignores the other for no good reason. They are not technically best friends, nor are they acquaintances. Just mere friends who seem to enjoy each others company or at least one of them. The person being ignored is a perfectly good, mature person who has done no harm whatsoever, at least intentionally. How would you judge the move that had been set forth by the person who ignored the other with respect to ethics? If you were in the position of the person being ignored, how would you have reacted to it and what would be your opinion on the other person based on what he did?

    I am sure that that guy was entitled to his move of ignoring but that doesn't indicate that what he did was morally right or wrong, it's a different issue. And whether the guy was genuinely interested in the other person is a different issue as well. The point is not whether he was interested or not, he already gave the impression that he enjoyed the other guys company, which is a fault on his part seeing as if he was sincerely not interested he should not have filled the other guy with false friendship. The main issue here is the ethics of the act of abrupt silent treatment.
    Susu Options
  • karl stone
    711
    I wouldn't view this issue morally. I'd view it psychologically, and suggest there probably are good reasons for such behaviour that have little or nothing to do with the person who has been ignored. I'd urge that person to put their personal feelings aside, and try to understand that the causes, and the effects of such a difficulty with relationships - are likely to be far worse than his own momentary sense of rejection.
    karl stone Options
  • TheMadFool
    13.8k
    The main issue here is the ethics of the act of abrupt silent treatment. — Susu

    I have nothing to say on this except that each person has a right to explore friendship as he wishes so long as he remains within the bounds of etiquette.

    Ignoring someone is bad etiquette but it isn't immoral as such. It simply means ''nothing of interest was found'' by the ignorer. The ignored should, if of healthy personality, should realize that he had nothing to offer to the friendship.

    However, if everyone ignores you then surely something is wrong with you. The fault, in this case, lies with you - are you a murderer or pedophile or etc.?
    TheMadFool Options
  • unenlightened
    9.2k
    It seems to me that there is a vast difference between friends and traders. In trade, there are rules and legitimate expectations, that the coin I offer is genuine, for example, and that what is offered by each becomes possessed by the other in exchange.

    There are no rules, rights or duties to friendship; there is no 'deal' artful or artless, and consequently, there is no possession. One cannot have a friend, but only be one. And what one cannot possess, one cannot be wrongly deprived of. Friendship cannot be traded, cannot be earned, cannot be deserved, cannot have strings attached; it is free, or it is fake.

    So the only legitimate concern one can have is whether one's own friendship is real or fake; friendship in the world is like the scent of a rose - an undeserved privilege that is freely bestowed and cannot be kept.
    unenlightened Options
  • Artemis
    1.9k
    If by ignoring you mean that the ignoree had sent messages or called with no reply, that's just rude. I do think rudeness falls into a certain ethical category. It hurts other people's feelings, and that's wrong.

    BUT, no one is indebted to be your friend/romantic partner/spouse just cause they hung out a few times with you. They tried it out, they realized that it wasn't clicking on some level, so they extricated themselves. That's normal and acceptable.

    There are over 7 billion people on the planet. If even 1% of them match my friend criteria, I still don't have the time or capacity to be friends with them all.
    Artemis Options
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