My son's up at UGA. I'm about 50 mins SW from there. — Hanover

Then you know this one:

What were the redneck's last words?

A joke tries to persuade its disabled human about how to convey itself to other humans but the joke's owner has lost its keys in a dark ally and is preoccupied.

The joke says to its human "you don't need that comfy bed in that apartment which you feel you can't afford not to pay, just sleep on the street."

The joke laughs at its human, "Frank would've told me at the right time and place in the right order without a hiccup. "

"Always you and your Frank" the human says. — Nils Loc

I see you're going back into computer generated gobbledegook mode. Or did you ever leave it? On a joke scale of 1 to 10, I classify it as "Not applicable."

It's more like a sad story with a thread-dependent context than a joke, I guess. Like the one about a disabling monster who amuses video gamers in a simulated trial of violence and self neglect.

I see you're going back into computer generated gobbledegook mode. Or did you ever leave it? On a joke scale of 1 to 10, I classify it as "Not applicable." — T Clark

I liked it, but I am fond of such peculiarities. Nils Loc is like a more articulate quine.

‘A man asked his friend, “Want to hear a joke about butter?” His friend was like, “Sure.” The man thought about it then changed his mind. “Nah, I butter not tell you. You might spread it.” (Helen Harper)

Daniel Dennett's humorous slogan for contemplating Darwinian cultural evolution:

A scholar is just a library's way of making another library.

I don't know about you, but I am not initially attracted by the idea of my brain a s a sort of dungheap in which the larvae of other people's ideas renew themselves, before sending out copies of themselves in an informational diaspora. It does seem to rob my mind of its importance as both author and critic. Who's in charge, according to this vision -- we or our memes? — Dennett

A joke is just a comedian's way of making comedians of us all.

A comemian is only understood through the performative devices of its comemedy.

A comemian is only understood through the performative devices of its comemedy. — Nils Loc

I umderstam.

Religion is the opiate of the masses. Except in Scotland. In Scotland, it's heroin.

Religion is the opiate of the masses. Except in Scotland. In Scotland, it's heroin. — Sapientia

Religion is heroin in Scotland?

Religion is heroin in Scotland? — Michael

You are really addicted to being a grammar cop, are you not? And even if you say that none are available at the moment, I know just how to call one: I just ignore all of the little red lines in my posts.

You have no idea how much fun it is to see you jump at the mistakes. Of course, you only seem to do it to mine, whilst flagrantly ignoring - or maybe failing to spot - other posters' failure to punctuate, capitalise, spell check, or even write blatant stupidity.

You butt in on my discussions and reply to things I have posted for others. This shows a total lack of the courtesy which one would expect from someone that brags about being a moderator on the forum.

I have no further wish to carry on any kind of discourse with a person that demonstrates so little respect for the members of this forum.

Also, FYI!

Please refrain from all further communication.

Wow.

This is a joke thread. That was a joke. I genuinely had no idea that you'd overreact like that. If you're not in the mood to take a joke, then perhaps this isn't the best place for you to be right now.

>:O

Lol

"Word of warning, I'm never serious. Except when I am. (Which is never)."

Then again maybe @Michael was joking too. Who knows how deep the rabbit hole goes?

Then again maybe Michael was joking too. Who knows how deep the rabbit hole goes? — Baden

He can't have been. Michael is always deadly serious. Except when he's not. (Which is always).

"Word of warning, I'm never serious. Except when I am. (Which is never)." — Baden

There are exceptions, however: I am serious on Tuesdays for precisely one nanosecond.

See you next Tuesday.

See this and this.

It's "Scottish"!

What's Scottish? Religious heroin?

You think I didn't know that? Wow. I genuinely had no idea that you'd feel the need to explain yourself like that you grammar Nazi. See this and this!

Find your insulin!

No, Scotland.

Did you miss my joke? No, because it was not there to miss.

Or was it?

Follow your instincts!

Bad grammar can have serious consequences. For instance:

Let’s eat, grandma!

vs

Let’s eat grandma!

Religion is heroin in Scotland? — Michael
You are really addicted to being a grammar cop, are you not? And even if you say that none are available at the moment, I know just how to call one: I just ignore all of the little red lines in my posts.

You have no idea how much fun it is to see you jump at the mistakes. Of course, you only seem to do it to mine, whilst flagrantly ignoring - or maybe failing to spot - other posters' failure to punctuate, capitalise, spell check, or even write blatant stupidity.

You butt in on my discussions and reply to things I have posted for others. This shows a total lack of the courtesy which one would expect from someone that brags about being a moderator on the forum.

I have no further wish to carry on any kind of discourse with a person that demonstrates so little respect for the members of this forum.

Also, FYI!

Please refrain from all further communication. — Sapientia

Will everyone please go snipe at each other on the Shout Box.

Joke of the Day - October 19, 2017

Q: DesCartes said “cogito ergo sum.” What did DesCartes’ dog say?
A: Nothing. DesCartes’ dog didn’t speak Latin.

Will everyone please go snipe at each other on the Shout Box. — T Clark

Will you be supplying the rifles, or should we bring our own?

This thread is turning violent. Good thing our bodies aren't in the same space.

A Panda bear rents a room at the Mandalay Bay hotel. He eats, shoots and leaves.

A Panda bear rents a room at the Mandalay Bay hotel. He eats, shoots and leaves. — Nils Loc

Clever. Me likey.

I have no further wish to carry on any kind of discourse with a person that demonstrates so little respect for the members of this forum. — Sapientia

Who, not that.

Bad grammar can have serious consequences. For instance:

Let’s eat, grandma!

vs

Let’s eat grandma! — praxis

Both are grammatically correct, the difference is the punctuation.

Will everyone please go snipe at each other on the Shout Box. — T Clark

That telling them.