• XFlare
    9
    Hello,

    First off, I'm well aware that this won't necessarily be something that can be fixed easily.

    Occasionally, I'm somewhat overwhelmed by feelings of despair. They range from a very narrow frame of thought. particularly human interaction. We are met with things in the world that we just don't like. Often, we can find those traits within ourselves as well. What I'm afraid of is the nature of my humanity. I'm limited by death, lack of intellect, external ideas, and more. In the end, it feels like I'm a husk attempting to imitate the thought process of that which I'm not. I want to go beyond my biology, and yet I know that it's impossible. I'm aware that some of these things are inevitable, but it just feels crappy that I have made mistakes and will continue to make mistakes simply because I'm human. People can easily get hurt because of my actions, and while I can help as well, it's this idea that my seemingly innocuous selfishness can inadvertently destroy others that frightens me. At the same time, I also fear being destroyed by others. I fear telling others about this because it's very much possible that these thoughts have no real substance, or that they will not be conveyed accurately. In the end, I feel stuck on this problem that I cannot solve no matter how many times I revisit it. I do have to mention. I do not think I feel depressed. I've tried to look at actions in the near past and it does not seem like they link to any sign of depression or disorder. In fact, they seem quite healthy.

    How do you deal with these thoughts? Thank you.
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    5k
    Hiya @XFlare
    Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
    I think you will find some commonality with some of our members.
    In a quick read it sounds like you are experiencing a good case of exestential angst. It is something that many of us have experienced especially at points of change for me.
    While I realize that I rolled my eyes when I heard this advice when I was in my 20's, I actually found a bit of truth to it as I got closer to older (I am 51 now). You are only able to control yourself and your reactions to life. While your healthy approach is keeping you from hurting others, you might inadvertently be walling off love as well.
    Do what you love, do it honestly and the rest will follow.
    Again, welcome :flower:
  • XFlare
    9


    Thank you. I look forward to what might come here.

    Yes. I agree, I have to go with the flow of life without having constant thoughts of what the future may hold. I guess the reason I feel lonely the most is that it's difficult to tell who might also be dealing with something similar and who wouldn't be. Everyone acts similarly to a certain degree in public, so I feel that the chances of being able to find someone who would attempt to understand and reciprocate such notions seem nonexistent. It makes me wonder if the interpersonal connection that I desire would really exist, or if it's just some myth I've forced myself to believe out of sheer optimism.
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