• TiredThinker
    250
    Is there something special about first marriages? Like that first person will always be a bigger deal than any spouse after?
  • jgill
    1.6k
    That could be true if the first marriage is to a high school flame. Sometimes, no matter where one goes in life that emotional fire still quietly smolders.

    Otherwise, the answer is possibly, but not necessarily. Not for me in any event.

    Quick answers to a complicated scenario.
  • fishfry
    2.6k
    Is there something special about first marriages? Like that first person will always be a bigger deal than any spouse after?TiredThinker

    You know what they say about second marriages. "The triumph of hope over experience."
  • tim wood
    8.1k
    First marriage is like a first big motorcycle.
  • Cheshire
    913
    Back in the olden days they called that one "marriage". I recommend go ahead getting that first one out of the way. 4 years max
  • Book273
    552
    Not for me. My first marriage was a flat out nightmare. I got two great kids out of the deal, but as for the ex-wife...Never hope to hear or see her again.
  • TheMadFool
    13.6k
    first marriagesTiredThinker

    First & marriage.

    :chin:

    First: Important ordinal number for any person. Anxiety, dread, uncertainty, excitement, optimism

    Marriage: It used to mean something once. Why else is it held in such high regard, why does it command so much respect? Unfortunately or not, it's now outmoded, unsuitable or even outright deadly in the current social climate. It has lost its luster and charm. It no longer means anything.

    First Marriage: Take a chance. success or sucks-cess.
  • Shawn
    12k
    If it floats, flies, or fornicates, rent it.
  • Pantagruel
    1.9k
    Is there something special about first marriages?TiredThinker

    Yes. It teaches you how to start over from scratch.
  • fishfry
    2.6k
    ↪fishfry what does that mean?TiredThinker

    If you had to guess, what would you say?
  • MAYAEL
    125
    The more people you sleep with and love the more numb you become and the less you truly value someone
  • fishfry
    2.6k
    The more people you sleep with and love the more numb you become and the less you truly value someoneMAYAEL

    Don't gourmets eat a lot of great food, and thereby hone their palates? Don't lovers of great music attend many concerts, and thereby increase their appreciation of musical excellence?
  • MAYAEL
    125
    Don't fighters get used to the pain of being hit by practicingbody body hardening? Don't swimmers get better at holding their breath by holding their breath?

    Don't drug addicts have to take more drugs the longer they're on them? .

    The human being gets used to whatever it's doing and tries to autopilot everything and reach a state of equilibrium again this is why the first time to do anything seems like the best time and anytime after that is bittersweet

    I see people all the time break up and go looking for the next person to be with and each time they have a little more baggage and love a little less .

    Now the the person that is in this scenario most certainly cannot see it in this way because they are blinded by said baggage and scars
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    4.5k
    The human being gets used to whatever it's doing and tries to autopilot everything and reach a state of equilibrium again this is why the first time to do anything seems like the best time and anytime after that is bittersweetMAYAEL

    Hmmmm, I have been married for 26 years, faithful for 30 years to the same man, so I am not sure how to feel about what you said.
    You are either spot on or talking horse hockey.
  • MAYAEL
    125

    Hmmmm, I have been married for 26 years, faithful for 30 years to the same man, so I am not sure how to feel about what you said.
    You are either spot on or talking horse hockey


    Why do you say that? . And for the record I am happily married to my best friend for 9 yrs and it's are 1st marriage and I wasn't into dating before we met I felt like it was a man trap as I watched all my guy friends lose the reminds trying to get some tail every weekend and all the drama that goes with it so I'm definitely all the way over on 1 side of the spectrum.
  • TiredThinker
    250


    This remark is reported to have been said by Samuel Johnson in James Boswell's Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791. The occasion was Johnson's hearing of a man who had remarried soon after the death of a wife to whom he had been unhappily married.

    Based on this it almost sounds like the first marriage didn't last long enough to have mattered?
  • fishfry
    2.6k
    This remark is reported to have been said by Samuel Johnson in James Boswell's Life of Samuel Johnson, 1791. The occasion was Johnson's hearing of a man who had remarried soon after the death of a wife to whom he had been unhappily married.TiredThinker

    You looked it up rather than tried to figure it out? You ARE a tired thinker! But thanks for the reference, I did not realize the remark originated with Johnson.

    Based on this it almost sounds like the first marriage didn't last long enough to have mattered?TiredThinker

    His EXPERIENCE with marriage was not happy; nevertheless he HOPED the next marriage would be better. Hence the triumph of hope over experience.
  • 180 Proof
    6.5k
    Why buy when you can rent?
    Why rent when you can borrow?
    Why bother when you can live as well without?
    Xanthippe drove her old man out into the agora everyday looking for youths to corrupt. Fortunately, my wanton exes have postponed that 'first marriage' till my next life.
  • TiredThinker
    250


    Sorry. Some phrases allude me. I read into them too much.

    https://www.theidioms.com/a/

    One of my favorite sites.
  • fishfry
    2.6k
    Sorry. Some phrases allude me. I read into them too much.

    Just making a little joke, didn't mean for it to get so involved!. But definitely appreciated learning that it was Samuel Johnson's witty remark. Now I don't feel so bad having made such a lame joke :-)
    TiredThinker

    Thanks for that link.
  • Sir2u
    2.7k
    Is there something special about first marriages? Like that first person will always be a bigger deal than any spouse after?TiredThinker

    Nope, third time is the charm. #1, 6 years. #2, 5 years. #3, 35 years.
  • Corvus
    1k
    " If you marry, you will regret it; if you do not marry, you will also regret it; if you marry or if you do not marry, you will regret both; whether you marry or you do not marry, you will regret both. " - Soren Kierkegaard

    "Marriage brings one into fatal connection with custom and tradition, and traditions and customs are like the wind and weather, altogether incalculable." - Soren Kierkegaard
  • 180 Proof
    6.5k
    Three institutions, each in its own way, seem to 'feminize' most males, for better or worse: the church, prison and marriage.
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