Is it problematic if identify as the worlds greatest painter and just think I am an attractive genius? — Andrew4Handel
I think the painter example is useful to think about for a minute. (By the way, for the record I'm
only focusing on this specific example at the moment and my analogy should not be preemptively extended too broadly).
You can think you are the best painter in the world, and that you produce great art. Let's say you make several art pieces, and go stand in a gallery with them proudly displayed. "I'm the best artist in the world," you proudly tell people who walk by, "and here I have produced the greatest art ever made. Look!"
While certainly not modest by any means, you are free to have that opinion about yourself and your artwork, and to make such claims about both.
Now imagine someone walks by, looks at your artwork, and says, "This isn't great art. Why, my 5 year-old can draw better than this. And for the record, [some other artist] is the best artist in the world."
Is this person entitled to their opinion? Of course. Should they be allowed to express that opinion? Yes. Equally as much as you can express yours. [Edit: We might suggest they phrase it in some more sensitive way, admittedly; the above example was pretty blunt!]
This can be generalized as "You should be able to say X, but others are allowed to say ~X." This forms the very basis for civilized discussion, where, ideally, growth and learning can happen.
* * *
But now going back to the example, what happens? If enough people tell you this, you may start to doubt your formerly-sky-high opinion of yourself. "Maybe I should have a little humility and practice a bit more," you may decide.
OR you could stubbornly press on and disagree with everyone else. You against the world! The struggling, misunderstood artist! You will probably be famous after you're dead, like other great artists!
This is an example of how there are (at least) two identities at play in any social interaction. The self-concept of an individual (how he sees himself), and the other-concept of the person interacting with him. Much like my Ship of Theseus discussion, these things will be different.
Furthermore, identity is a two-way street. It's a conversation that we have with others around us. We get our cues about a lot of things related to ourselves from those around us. We exist in community. In a similar way that we rely on others for physical survival (farmers to grow the food we eat every day, ex.), we see ourselves reflected back through them as a mirror. A lot of that is a good thing. Some can be harmful. But even negative feedback about oneself can be taken and turned into something positive.
Like if someone tells you that you suck as an artist. Maybe you feel hurt at first, and they should have expressed it more kindly, true. But upon further reflection you realize you do kinda suck, and it spurs you to become better.
The "identity is a two-way street" thing goes the other way, too. How you project yourself out into the world influences how others think of you. It isn't the only factor, but it's a strong one. This is why conmen and snakeoil salesmen exist.