If what they claim isn't clear, then what could they be insisting?
Is this a moral/political issue, or a metaphysical/epistemological issue? What does a person mean when they claim to feel like, or be, a man or woman? Is it a mental problem? Is it possible that we have souls that are male and female that get put in the wrong bodies, or what? The fact that there seem to be so many people willing to just accept what others insist that they do without asking these questions is a great example of how political propaganda has an effect on weak minds. — Harry Hindu
Good point, the distinction is definitely over-used and under-defined. Perhaps correcting that is the place to start in clearing up the tensions of these issues, rather than trying to determine the meaning of the pronouns.
I think it's become a moral/political issue only because it's a metaphysical/epistemological issue that hasn't ever really been solved.
In my head it goes like this:
Gender is performative, a matter of behaviors and traits that find themselves somewhere on the masculine/feminine spectrum, which has nothing to do with one's body (sex).
But, for so long it was thought that certain behaviors ought to exist only in certain bodies, and that when they don't it's strange or wrong, so that there are still many people who feel strange about seeing certain behaviors coming from certain bodies. Therefore, when a person feels inclined toward behaviors that some consider strange or wrong for their body, they're put in a difficult situation (many people see them as strange). As a reaction to this, some of these people are prescribing as a solution a language that refers to their behaviors, not their body.
Now, if everyone could instantly disassociate behaviors from bodies (gender from sex) this would not be necessary, because it would be understood that whether you're called a "he" or "she" or a "boy" or a "girl" has nothing to do with your personality. (This, by the way, would be my answer to the metaphysical question of sex/gender. So in a sense, yes there are male and female souls (and souls in between), in that humans have psychological pre-dispositions (biologically and culturally influenced) causing them to exhibit behaviors that are mostly what we would call "masculine," mostly what we call "feminine," or anywhere in between.) But because this disassociation is awkward and takes time, people are revolting against the thing that seems most immediately to hold it together (gendered language).
To use the example from Pfhorrest,
But meanwhile, you have the group of fat people who want to be skinny, who feel like fatness is not an essential part of themselves, that it's even contrary to themselves, who hate having to live life in their fat bodies and dream of some day being able to walk around as a skinny person, and in the meantime, just wish people would stop constantly addressing them as a fat person.
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But here's the problem. If gender and sex are distinct and not connected, then how can one say they're in the wrong body? One's body has nothing to do with one's gender; if it did why ask to be addressed by your gender
in spite of your body? If you say, "I feel my gender is x, therefore my body should be x too," aren't you affirming the idea that gender and sex are supposed to be connected? In the example above, the person who feels fatness is not an essential part of themselves
feels that a particular material thing (body type) should be connected to a particular immaterial thing (personality), and the fact that it doesn't is an indication that something is wrong. But were they to adhere to the argument that divides the bodily and the performative, shouldn't their gripe be, not with their body, but with this very feeling, and with anyone who speaks in a way that affirms and reinforces this feeling in society?