• The Shoutbox
    I have decided that football fans are a rowdy group but that is about it.
    Golf fans on the other hand are the most entitled group of people with atrocious outfits.

    Got bumper stickers we need to bring back:
    Welcome to Arizona :flower:
    Now GO home!
  • The Shoutbox
    It's an emotional time and I am spiritually exhausted.
    I'm built for this shit but it is heavy, very heavy.
  • The Shoutbox should be abolished
    Let us not forget Mars Man and the Mayor.
    It took all of us....
    Incision, hyena, landlady and more that I can remember...
  • The Shoutbox
    Thank you for reaching out to me. I haven't had anything positive to say for over a year now and our first appearance before the judge is the 31st of this month.
    I don't mind being alone but the isolation is killing me.
    Fucking a come the tears....
    It's really a time capsule of such seeing as the kids and Cosmic Wanker moved out in October.
    I know I am not judged here but please don't stop reaching out to me. I'm not in the best state of mind.
    I'm down to affording one meal a day and it sucks to be having to hunker down month after month.
    I'm sorry.....
  • The Shoutbox
    We should organize the shoutbox into a book and sell it. We could call it Shoutbook, by Hanover et al.Hanover

    As if....
  • The Shoutbox
    Shitz going down.. keep your eye on the Western sky...
    Mom wrote my divorce attorney and cc'd me on it. AFTER she sent it. I told her she is channelling my Dad and she said "You bet!"
  • The Shoutbox
    land recorderjavi2541997

    Interesting web search...
    So...are you studying to be someone who might work for the county, who assesses and defines, or let's say redefines the flood zone that runs through half of our ranch?

    Cause if you are....I have two positions on your soon to be cohorts assessment and how it affects the value of our property.

    Am I close to understanding the gig?
  • The Shoutbox
    Yesterday I had an exam. I have been preparing for this more than three years. Sadly, I end up failing...javi2541997

    You only failed if you stop trying.
    You succeeded in your first run through and will make it to your goal. That's a win!

    Anyone that has worked as hard as you have understand fully the inner pressure we put on ourselves.

    If you don't mind sharing, what industry is the test for?
  • The Shoutbox
    I appreciate your patience. It was a two shot against shingles. The pharmacist didn't warn me that I would likely be down for the weekend. It got so bad that I didn't want to get the second one. He promised that I would not have the same reaction and I trusted him.
    Turns out he was right. The second dose was easy peasey.
    Shinglex I think was the name of it.
    My Mom had it on her face and was in a ton of pain. Hopefully I headed it off at the pass.
  • The Shoutbox
    always thought it was what made me so entertaining was how I would jump from subject to subject randomly,Hanover

    It's everything I like about you that is the same in me.

    I demand to remain undiagnosed and love hopping from topic to topic and I LOVE people who are capable of answering sarcasm with sarcasm. Those are my people!!!
  • The Shoutbox
    The plans for the day that I made while drinking coffee are not panning out.
    It's kinda weird; I drank a Red Bull yesterday and it put me to sleep and I don't drink them more than once a week.
    I am deeply under stress and have been for almost a year now. I am still booking hours at the gym but I am not sure if this is almost over or not. Fearful to look up and realize there is more burning for me to endure.
  • The Shoutbox
    Bulls Eyes.... Omg...I can eat myself sick on them.
    Yummy :yum:
  • The Shoutbox
    I have mixed feelings on patty people.Noble Dust
  • The Shoutbox
    Get a shingles vaccination. It gets nasty as you age. Shingrix, which has the singular advantage of workingBanno

    I got the shingles vaccine and it kicked my ASS!
    Then it was over but it took 3days.
    The COVID vaccine was so much easier.
  • The Shoutbox
    Be careful with root canals (I had 9) and individual implants. Average cost for me was 5k for Root canal and implant.

    I finally found a dentist with my health in mind not what money he had for his pocket. I wanted an implant and he said "Stop throwing your money away and let's do full implants.

    Gorgeous smile 36k and I am going to be in finals made of cubic zirconiam. No more fear of my teeth and the pain, no more outrageous bills, just a one off. At 5k a tooth, it's pretty easy to see the value. I didn't have that kind of money but it was necessary for my overall health, no exposed roots that can carry crap into my blood giving me a low lying infection and no more pain.
  • The Shoutbox
    I apologize for my tardiness in Welcoming you.
    I am pleased to read you are enjoying your stay!
  • The Shoutbox

    Hi Javi and Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
    I ABSOLUTELY join you in welcoming in September. My soon to be ex is supposed to move out of the ranch today but I am willing to bet my last dollar that he won't be gone today.

    I however am rebranding myself and feel SO empowered and excited about my life. :flower:
  • The Shoutbox
    I get the jest you are saying and thank you for the chuckle.
    Now I have a question for you, if you would be so kind to entertain and respond to me.
    What about that interaction did I come across as flirting?
    I am genuinely asking...
  • The Shoutbox
    What are your thoughts now?Hanover

    Inappropriate thoughts.

    Got a funny for you:
    I was working out at the gym and get off the machine and sanitize the whole thing. I go back to the sanitary station and push the foaming hand sanitizer once and it didn't come out.
    I could feel someone behind me but didn't turn around and hit the sanitizer again...
    Well both spills of foam came out onto my hands and I went to rub my hands together and a fucking splat of it landed right on my cheek, which I couldn't believe it happened. So I wiped it away before I turned around. Standing behind me was a very large but fit man, I was clearly blushing. I shot him a smile and a quiet frustration noise. He said "I gotta tell you that was funny!" I am like right?
    Blushing as I type it out now.
    Yes I have seen him once at the gym again but he is going to have to make first move as I am quite content.
  • The Shoutbox

    I appreciate the spirit of your platitude but as an up and coming social worker, I have heard them all and the need for Nick to burn to this marriage to the ground, everything that we made in coming together is being destroyed.
    But I really do thank you because just knowing you have expressed more than silence is more helpful than thinking I am totally alone....

    god bless it here come the tears.... I swore to myself I would not shed anymore tears for this mofo.
  • Moderation of Political threads
    Oh Hey! I was actually thinking of saying hello to you today. How you feelin'?skyblack

    Quick on the draw with my back in the corner behind what feels like enemy lines..
    You are very kind for asking :flower:
    Thank you for your sweet words about me.
  • Moderation of Political threads
    But feel free to go ahead with the ban if you feel it is needed.skyblack

    Welcome to The Philosophy Forum!
  • The Shoutbox
    Keep buggering on.Banno

    I'm trying, no, I am doing but it's not easy
  • The Shoutbox
    "I can't do this!, I can't do this!". I replied "yeah, but you will anyway". And she did.Banno

    I totally get that.
    Here is one of my loudest unwarranted criticism that I am not able to get out of my head:
    Nick said that I wasn't there for him in his hour of need.
    How? By every act possible my youngest son and I, along with the Angels in Heaven aligning, with a 1% chance of survival after Nick had his Aortic dissection, both ascending and descending.
    45 days later, after going through DT's in an induced coma, 16 months later he served me with divorce papers.
    In addition to what he was going through, my youngest son and I jumped into the business, handled it, we had clients making double payments and never skipped a beat. I knew that if he survived the disection and did not sustain brain damage, that he could not handle our business having failed. 2020 turned out to be one of our best years for our business. No good deed goes unpunished...
    November will be a year after he started this divorce and I am soul tired. He has secured a house to move into in 4 days. I don't know where he is getting the money from because I don't have it. I don't have a choice but to remain here at the ranch until it sells. I'd love to be out of here but the only secure housing and utilities paid is here.
    There is light but it's still too far away.
    I did the "I handled it anyway" and I know you are aware of it and I love you for your encouragement that I will get through it.....
    I'm just tired of burning.. :fire:
  • The Shoutbox
    What do you guys think I should do?Hanover
    I'd fire him. Period. I cannot knowingly have a liar in my ranks/circus.
  • The Shoutbox
    Anyway, it's good to see you back here. I hope it isBanno

    It's always long term. I am just crumbling one minute and strong as fuck the next but I am getting very tired ....
  • The Shoutbox
    It's really good to read you here.
    Thank you friend :flower:
  • The Shoutbox
    I have to confess, I had sweet potato fries yesterday for the first time in almost a month....omg....
    Still keeping on the scale everyday but damn those are good. :yum:
  • The Shoutbox
    What does it mean to be a licensed clinical social worker?
    What does the job involve?
    How far through your training are you?
    What have you learned?

    What would be useful practical advice for a client in a similar position?
    Other than talk to your friends...and 'coast on the river of the unknown'...
    Would you use any philosophical counselling? Refer to any other supportive specialist?

    Great questions!
    There are more positions than I can list of the careers of a LCSW. You can sit in an office of a hospital as a Social worker who consults with patients on a variety of areas. If you want to work as a therapist who listens to people's problems, with the dedicated time a LCSW can become specialized in say Marital therapy or singles therapy. Schools are over run with the need for LCSW's.
    My particular niche is being created as we speak here in Phoenix. My final destination after obtaining my necessary education is to become a member of the CIT Crisis Intervention Team.
    The city of Phoenix was awarded a grant over 10 million to be spent over three years in creating the CIT. At this point in time the "brass" of the Phoenix Fire Department and the Phoenix Police Department are receiving the training necessary to work on a three prong approach to responding to crisis that doesn't require a specific response but is still having a crisis. A blend of Fire, Police and a mental health representative is what is being created. My goal is to be eligible and capable of being that last of the three prongs.

    I like brief, intense, emotional states that I can help descalate with the knowledge I am learning. I have no desire to sit and listen week after week about someone's ongoing problems.
    I want to be the safe person for someone who is in a mental crisis, usually induced by taking drugs or not taking drugs, for people to call, still employed by the state, but being that safe zone to handle the calls.
    In Oregon a group called CAHOOTS has been operating for 50 years without losing a volunteer.
    Here in AZ we are building a paid team that should aleviate 20% of the calls coming into 911.
    What that means is our specialized resources such as the Fire Department and the Police Department, will be available for dispatch instead of trying to mitigate a kid who took something that is causing a bad trip to the parents of a child who may not have taken his medication and is not thinking straight and is on the roof.
    I could go on but the niche's are limitless and the nations need for mental health care workers is huge. I graduated in 2021 with dual Associates degrees and am ready for University. It's a matter of my inability to pay my tuition out of my *temporary spousal support*.
    Yes, I am very supported professionally. I have been in and out of therapy since May 2020 when Nick had an aortic dissection.
    I currently have a therapist who has her Masters and is a former instructor but has been hired on part time as a social worker and as a student, I am entitled to 10 visits but she is still taking care of my therapy needs. I am also certified with the fire department as a CERT member (Community Emergency Response Team) and have made connections within the fire house family and have utilized their offer of therapy as well.
    My philosophy leanings have been shared publicly and that is the Karmic banking system that I believe in. I can make karmic deposits and karmic withdrawals, the goal is to make as many deposits as possible and as few withdrawals needed. I lean on that idea hard and know that I am not in control of anyone but me and I am choosing a trajectory of onward and upward.
  • The Shoutbox
    Tough times, but they will end. It's darkest before the dawn. As you correctly said, you are not alone.
    I hope you get a fair settlement on the identified marital assets and any other financial settlement you are due. Messy but you must ensure you get what you are legally due.
    I am with those who hate to start fights but once started, I will fight back hard.

    Thank you for your hopes of a fair shake.
    Losing everything material in our house fire, after I got out our the little kids and all but one dog (that was saved by a Firefighter) I realized that even though I lost my everything that I had aquired since I was born, I had everything in the world that mattered alive with a heartbeat, the "rest" was replaceable.

    Like you, knock me down and my comeback is mean as fuck.
  • The Shoutbox
    Bullshit, and I don't think any court in the land will buy his take on it.praxis

    I know what you are saying and the state is a 50/50 state, which Nick knows but believes he is not going to be subjected to. We were married (still are) in 1994 and the loose formula is spousal support for half the time of the marriage if you make it past ten years.

    What I am aware of is that it feels like an old boys school mentality with the attorneys but are appearing before a female judge. The bottom line is that we could go before ten different judges and get ten different outcomes.

    My deposition is over. I feel like a weight is lifting and a brighter day ahead.

    Mom is coming over to help me pack up sentimental contents of my breakfront so it will be easier than me getting caught up in the emotional weight a lot of what is in there.
  • The Shoutbox
    On a recent night out after too much alcohol. One friend told us his mother had died, which brought on a lot of different emotions in the group, obviously supportive but about 20 mins later three men in the group were all in tears. The friend who had just lost their mother and two friends who lost their mothers many years ago but..... the memories. ...... they run very deepuniverseness

    I go through times of strength and times of crumbling. One of the hard parts unnecessary in any person's grieving process is my soon to be ex husband barbing me with crap like:

    "How can you sleep all day knowing that you burdened Mike in his final days with paying for your sniveling demands because you are too spoiled to support yourself.
    One day you will learn that you must do for yourself."

    My job is a student and he sees no value in my goal of being schooled as a Liscened Clinical Social Worker. He believes that I deserve nothing in spousal support and thinks that he raised the family and has been the financial provider, essentially he created all that we have built on his own.

    It's simply not true. In his asking me to leave my career to come home and raise the family, we the thmade a choice to become a one provider family. We each worked and each of us have been successful.
    My job was to raise two boys, into ethically bound children, loving, empathetic, productive members of society. My job was to run the ranch. From the cooking, laundry, cleaning helping out with our company, caring for the horses and fighting every battle we encountered as a couple (house fire, candle injury) as well as the budget for the ranch.

    NicK is narrssistic, misogynistic, asshole.
    It's a mindfuck and if I didn't share with close friends about what he says? I would think I am losing my mind because he denies saying it.

    I'm exhausted emotionally, spiritually and physically depleted. It's one of the darkest times but I am not alone. I have my boys, my dogs and my health. The rest really can be replaced. Been there, done that, got the backine for ServePro.
    Deep sighs.....I'm just coasting on the river of the unknown
  • The Shoutbox
    asked me if she could set it up, if I recall correctly. As she had a history of loyal involvement with PF, I said yes. There’s no problem with it that I can see.Jamal

    Yes and my loyalty to my family here has not waivered. I humbly ask for two months before shutting down the Facebook page if it is not a problem.
    It's not much in the scope of social media presence with 600+ followers but some only want to see the FB feed then be active here.

    As in the beginning, it is not my choice to keep open or close the FB page but at the moment it is something I value, I have just been put in a position that my only way to communicate electronically is through my phone.

    My classes start up again as the summer is almost over and I am working on resurrecting a laptop that right now is a brick.

    I'm sorry for not being present, not just because of my lack on the Facebook page, but because I love many friends here and I, like right now, break down emotionally and can barely see the screen through the tears ...

  • The Shoutbox
    BTW I didn't set up the Facebook page and I don't maintain it or view it. ArguingWAristotleTiff does that I think.Jamal

    You are absolutely correct in that I asked to take over the Facebook page that was created during our transition from our old sandbox. I don't remember who set it up, it may have been me or Mayor of Simpleton as we were trying to give everyone the chance to get here if they wanted.

    I am sorry for my lacking on the Facebook invitations. I ask for the grace of understanding that it took me weeks to tell you about my Dad's journey and I have been unable to open Facebook because I have not been able to share on my personal Facebook, what happened and what I am still embroiled in fielding a divorce unfolding.

    I will log onto Facebook tomorrow and grab any messages from it and communicate with them if they are interested in joining.

  • The Shoutbox
    I apologize with all my heart for my absence, please know that I am deeply sorry.

    I have no valid explanation other than I have had nothing positive to say about anything in life.
    It is not fair, I know, I humbly ask for your grace.

    I was the one that Dad called the police on because the verbal abuse Mom was enduring could not continue. Dad and I had our last stand and when the firefighters took him to Hospice giving Mom and I respit for 5 days, I knew he would never be back in his home, my parents home. It continued until the end. Such a horrible way to pass...facing death on Haladol is no way to cease living.

    I was the one who went with Mom to pick up Dad's ashes and when we got home we brought Dad inside and she showed me where she wanted Dad's ashes, I had to climb a ladder with Dad. Cleaning off the top of the cabinet that gets dusted once a year, I realized that I was in the same physical place I had been in, where Dad made his last stand in life against me. Now I am putting him in a box of ashes on top of the cabinet, in the very place he last was, because of me.

    Mom said that what happened allowed her to be his wife and no longer his caretaker/nurse. Dad never left Hospice. I fed him his last meal of his life the day he died. Macaroni and cheese, Diet Coke and ice cream for dessert.

    I'm walking in a fog and not sure how to make it play out faster.

    All of this while I am still in the divorce process, living STILL here at the ranch and am being deposed on Tuesday.

    I know life issues fair but I need to catch a break....

    Hence why I am not around because I can't burden others with this
  • The Shoutbox
    The wisdom to know the difference....
    Got it :up:
  • The Shoutbox
    Dad's decided to not upgrade his pacemaker and the batteries on the one he has inside him are dying. All my prayers were denied in him making the choice to upgrade but I have to stand strong to respect his wishes and to be support for Mom.
    Both my parents want to die at home and we have brought on Hospice at home. Family is coming out to say goodbye over the next three weeks, while my divorce goes to it's FIRST time before anyone, which will be a mediator while Cosmic Wanker is fully aware that everyday we have not sold the ranch is costing us. He is hoping it tanks so he can buy me out.
    I'm so done. Cosmic Wanker is the victim in all this you know... :vomit:
  • The Shoutbox
    Leftover brisket for every meal.
    What kind of mustard?
  • The Shoutbox
    if his explanation makes no sense, it's probably not true. Dishonesty in relationships is actually a thing. So, don't look at the explanation. Look at the conclusion. For whatever reason, it ran its courseHanover

    His further explanation makes sense so it's all good

    I just wonder what energy I am projecting because I am standing taller than I ever have, I feel appreciated and I am rocking school.
    This is my only internet hangout right now with school as heavy as it is.
  • The Shoutbox
    Perhaps it has nothing to do with the relationship in general and he’s merely insecure about his sexual prowess. Should he be? Curious minds want to know.praxis

    Not at all. Very secure and has reason to be.


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