Well thank you for a kind answer. It's clear we both would rather have a conversation, and I'm sorry I lost my temper. But I should also say, I guess, although Id rather not, but I will, is that one of the people I talked about this with was my father Karl, who passed away very recently after a very long and productive life.
Karl grew up in Wisconsin, his Mother was a Russian Jew, and his Father a German humanist. At Wisconsin University he almost became a Rhodes Scholar, but he was interested in the international dealing of archaeological artifacts but wanted to work in politics, so he won a place at Princeton, where he earned an MPA and doctorate in politics, studying there with Henry Kissinger. He became a journalist, manager of Bernstein and Woodward before the Watergate scandal at the Washington Post, ran the Post's Washington bureau in London, and on the editorial board in charge of human rights issues for the New York Times for many long years.
Karl was a VERY erudite man, who loved books, read them continuously, his private library was at least 10,000 books. With his interest in archaeology, he read all the Greek and Roman texts he could find, now I cannot say in how much detail, often he read very quickly, but he was very familiar with the era. KRAL could not think of an example of any Roman or Greek being upset because they had taken any personal responsibility for what they had done in all he read. Karl did think about it a very long time, and he did say, of everything I ever said to him, it was maybe the only thing I ever said that really impressed him, lol.
But he also hated Saul, or St Paul as most call him, with a fervor you cannot imagine. Karl called him Satan incarnate way before the phrase was common after Bush called Hussein that. Karl said no man had ever been responsible for more deaths in history.
Now on the RESULTS of Paul's letters we can perhaps all agree to some greater or lesser extent. But on the other hand, it really was not what Paul was trying to do, and personally, I would regretfully say, it was really the Church Fathers who over-emphatically selected his letters for the canonical bible, and St Augustine's City of God which places personal salvation above secular justice and bringing about the entire Dark Ages, that were the real sources of the problems with religious authority that led to the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, and other such abominations. So I wrote kindly of Saul, or Paul, saying he had such a sudden episode of guilt that, not knowing what to tell his followers eager to pillage and rape some more Christian households in his hometown in Syria, Damascus, while returning there after killing many Christians on his own mission, tolerated with amusement but not generally regarded as necessary at the time, for killing Christians who denied the Emperor as God. In other cases, the Roman Empire did not disturb local religions, but in this case, Saul took it on himself, it seems from what we know, to conduct a kind of genocide, reaping the rewards in much the same way the Nazis seized belongings during the Holocaust.
The thing that strikes me, whether he was actually blinded or just described it that way, or something else, is that the Christians then said much like 'ok youve done some bad things, well, worse than most, but anyway, come in and have some wine.' And Saul, baptised Paul, was totally overwhelmed by the forgiveness. Totally, For the rest of this life.
But Karl really could not tolerate me saying that. I waited until he died before speaking at all of almost all my thoughts to anyone.
While in private contemplation, I sat in silence with the Quakers for many years in silicon valley. There a man was working on the translation of the Gospel of Thomas. At first I objected in a very asinine Christian way, but then I realized how much he loved Jesus, so I thought about it quite a bit. In the canonical bible there is what 2 verses? 3 verses? Thomas says he cannot know if Jesus is really him without sticking his fingers in the wounds. What does Christ say? Does he say 'you stupid boy'? Does he say 'get thee hence for doubting me'? No! He says 'go ahead, if that's what you need to do.' And so I thought about all my doubts from studying philosophy and psychology at Oxford, and it seems to me in the modern era, many other people have the same problem with miracles and such, and that Thomas is a model for the modern scientific way commonly described in a simplistic way as 'obtaining proof.'
So I did not want Karl to die. I would rather have waited longer. But now Karl has passed away, I have this huge idea, a new concept that could make so many people happy who have been struggling with doubts, that St. Thomas' skepticism is a channel through which us scorned intellectual elitists, us scientists, us rational beings, that we also may also discover the love of God, however skeptical we are, and may know the kingdom of heaven, if not in the afterlife, but right here on earth, just as Thomas writes in his gospel. I asked the Quakers about it, but they could not do anything for other reasons....I keep hoping they change their mind....In fact only one person has ever really supported me on my beliefs, a monk on patmos, where St John the Divine had his revelation. He said I should start a new church. At first I did not want to be so disruptive. There are so many churches already. But the churches have rejected me and some have even excommunicated me for even mentioning part of my beliefs.
So now I am trying to write all my long-hidden ideas down. Next I am working on my next homily, 4th attempt to get it right, 'the alpha, the omega, and the bee orchid.'
So now Matthew, as for our debate on the what Romans or Greeks actually felt, I did ask you to review my elaboration on it. I would be grateful if we could step back to that a few posts ago, and meanwhile I should start working on my next homily, because I have spoken with a neighbor here, at long last, about publishing it, and I should get it written for him.
Oh. As you see from what I told you, regarding giving his name: I cannot believe Karl would give his permission to use his name in my published work as substantiation of what I say due to his own beliefs; and my Jewish stepmother is doing everything possible to silence me. I reached the point of threatening to put a restraining order on her.
But I would tell you in confidence, you can see Karl's biography here, Im just looking at it for the first time in a while. My stepmother essentially tried, for many years, to take his place, and after my father became too terrified even to talk to her any more, in my opinion, she declared him senile, made my share of Karl's estate her own and disowned me from the family; made a separate page for herself for her own career; removed any mention of archaeology that would help my own meagre ambitions from the page, and it even tells a lie to do so. Karl actually spent 6 years 1969-1975 working on various published books on archaeology, one published by Atheneum, one of the most prestigious publishers in the world. She rewrote it saying he was still working at the Post 1970-1975 instead. That's just not true, as you can see from the bibliography on this page, he actually published 3 books on archaeology during that time.
Also she removed the names of me, Jon, and Heather from his page. After making Jon and Heather subservient to her own fiscal dominance, having taken as much money she could for herself, and my siblings have to do what she says. So I lost them as family too. Thats why I am a little emotional at the moment. I keep finding things like this she did already. Again, apologies.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_E._Meyer