• How to combat suicidal thoughts?

    Ok, sorry for coming off awry. Thanks for your input!
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    A somewhat related question, do you spend a lot of time behind a computer?Tzeentch

    Yes, pretty much. Although, I have found this to be an issue as of late. Namely, the retardation of identity formation enhanced through too much online presence.
  • Asking for some advice.
    I remember reading some posts of yours where you mentioned that you were happy with how you lived your life with your mother. It seems to me that it is this whole prospect of moving to a different unfamiliar place that is making you feel down at the moment.leo

    Yeah, until my psycho-father decided that he wants half the house. I should be honest with myself, though, and can't say I should be surprised over what has recently happened. I mean, it was bound to happen eventually at some point. I guess, I just never wanted it to happen...
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    I mean, at the least I have a fighting spirit from my mom's side of the family, so things aren't dire. I'm seeking out ways to address this issue apart from isolating myself into oblivion.

    There's "hope" speaking out once in a while.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    How many random thoughts have popped into your head in your lifetime. How many do you remember? Make the bad thoughts one you forget.420mindfulness

    Ah, but they do tend to leave a lasting impression on one's psyche. Tangled up garbage.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    One of the things that I learned from my therapist, that scared the living shit outta me, was the notion that depression evolves as time passes by.

    Now, that's some scary shit.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    I don't mean to be a debby downer, but people without insight typically don't know where they lack insight.fdrake

    Then, you point it out for me if you care to. Is this a motivational issue or generic depression?

    I'm going to assume both, so in that case what can be done about my lack of interest in games people play? This goes more towards my meta-sentiment of misanthropy and projection...
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?

    Thanks, man, I'll see if I can muster up anything and give it a skim.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    Maybe it would help to focus on being more comfortable in situations where you're not in control?Terrapin Station

    Well, I have set myself up for a situation that I have no need to control anything. I'm on disability and have no desire to change things as they stand. This attitude is essentially, a huge "f*ck you" both to others and myself. A super-volition if you will.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    I'm not saying you like it. I think the deeper point of games people play is that it reveals that patterns and habits which are difficult to break usually have some pay off.fdrake

    In this regard, I lack insight into my own condition, and I really have no idea who would be able to discern the chaff from the wheat. All I have are a diagnosis that is being addressed individually with medication.

    To be quite honest, I see this as a philosophical issue. Namely, as to whether attitudes can be psychologized in any way. I'm assuming that they can't.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    If you're serious, then you need to find a good ("good" as in good and not bad) mental health professional, probably a counselor/therapist and probably not a medical doctor.tim wood

    I don't have the luxury anymore of choosing my therapist or psychiatrist. Anyway, I've seen my fair share of head shrinkers and pill pushers here and in Europe.

    I was never able to discern a common theme over the span of my duration of visiting those people.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    In short, why is control even more important than life to you?Terrapin Station

    Deep question. Goes back to how my father blew up our already meager family relationship. In short, given my upbringing, I've become averse to either being in control (over the fear of losing control), and not being in control (over the fear of losing control).

    It's a no-win attitude that is exacerbated by my depression. (insight achieved?)
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?

    All I got out of the concept of "games people play" was the wrong assumption that the depressive likes the game her or she plays. In most cases, the depressive simply hates playing games at all. In my case, I never cared for establishing a relationship.
  • Hello!

    That's about all you need to know.

  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    One of the first steps is to be frighteningly honest with yourself.fdrake

    Tried that. Talked with my therapist, and he has the attitude of being honest with me when I am not with myself as much as I should.

    But, when depression robs you of any desire to get better, then what do you do? Cope?
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    Apart from my personal experiences with that topic I think that people should not kill themselves until they have reached the age of about forty. A lot of things can happen when you are young (and 29 is still young), but when you have reached age 40 you have seen what is in stock for you. The rest can be extrapolate from the way travelled so farMatias

    Well, forty isn't that far away. But, if anyone has been in depression, they know that time tends to drag out quite a bit, and sometimes weeks feel like months, and months feel like years. I will probably make a final decision when my mother passes away, which I hope will come about as far away into the future as possible. Having at least one person that cares about you makes everything worthwhile in my mind.

    I will continue on this haphazardous existence that fate has dealt me, I don't want to encourage suicide although the thought is appealing as hell (pun intended?).

    Best of luck to you.
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    My simplistic understanding is that sometimes it is best to hit the bottom in order to bounce up again ... but sadly it’s not without pain and not without risk. Generally speaking fear can be extremely debilitating. I personally think most of people’s day-to-day woes are a repercussion of ‘fear’ - which is, in my experience, 95-99% misleading and/or stupefying.I like sushi

    I have been living on rock bottom for about 4-5 years. No income, on disability, nothing really accomplished, even college not completed. I mean, I don't mean to come off as a slob; but, I really did try throwing myself at trying to accomplish something since I moved back to the states 10 years ago. College, military service, maintaining a simple job, been there done that. Now, that I am on disability, it's figurately rock bottom for me, and the only way forward is upward. Yet, I often repeat to myself in a mantra, that I have everything I could wish for and that I should be more appreciative or grateful for what I already have.

    What am I getting wrong here?
  • How to combat suicidal thoughts?
    Take control. This requires change. When there is nothing left I think it is worth trying some drastic change in order to shake things up and then to build structure and control out of such circumstances.

    At worst such change will put the previous ‘lack of control’ in perspective.
    I like sushi

    One of the few things that I learned about depression is that it is mainly a lack of sense of control in one's life that contributes to the malaise. Yet, I have meager income and little that I can do about my current situation. I have thought about moving out; but, have no savings or money I can spare to move out of the country. Ideally, I want to return back to Europe and live out my days over there.

    But, the issue is that somewhere back in the recesses of my mind, there is a part of "me" that drags me down and observes me in this precarious state and when "it" sees the opportunity, then it lunges forward and chastizes me for choosing to live. When I don't listen to this part of me, it tends to manifest in bad decision makings, such as seeking out drugs or some such matter. It really wants things its way...

    It sucks, or this part of me needs to go away for me to move on in life, yet it is there.

    Have you ever had depression?
  • Asking for some advice.
    I feel like throwing my life away at the moment. I have no reason to live, (pretty much disabled for life given my diagnosis), and looking forward to death. I have my mother whom I don't want to impose more grief on; but, life seems so uninteresting, that I am seriously contemplating suicide. It has been on my mind for some 15 years now, and it's getting really tiring waiting on death to knock on my door.

    I mean, we all die eventually? So, what's the problem with suicide?
  • Asking for some advice.
    That's certainly possible, there is an element of subjectivity in justice, you can get different results with different lawyers. I think your mother and you should try to pick a lawyer that you feel comfortable with, that you feel is on your side, and then it will be easier to bring the judge on your side too.leo

    It's too late for that now. We are at the endgame of this divorce, and my mother's lawyer is what he is. I'm really sad about this whole situation and want to be over it already.
  • Asking for some advice.
    Why doesn't the following persuade the judge to give your mother a favorable share?leo

    Well, at this point I'm not even sure if our lawyer is on our side, given his attitude. He said he mentioned it to the judge; but, when we had a meeting in regards to a settlement to be achieved, we still got a 50/50 judgement from the judge. So, I'm pretty effin lost right now.
  • Looking for ArguingWAristotleTiff
    Tiff is here!

    Praise the Lord!
  • The Shoutbox

    Yeah, wish it was a joke too. So much shit flying in the air right now.
  • The Shoutbox
    :cry: :cry: :cry:Waya

  • The Shoutbox
    Thinking a lot about suicide lately. Ehh.
  • The Shoutbox
    My mom and I need a vacation.

    Want to go to Hawaii...
  • On Anger
    To a moderator:

    Please delete this topic. I started a more general one about the logic of emotions recently, which I was hoping on addressing here; but, think in a separate thread would be more useful.
  • On Anger
    What do you think, @unenlightened?

    I'm having a lot of feels recently.
  • On Anger
    Anger is a broad term.Frotunes

    How so? It's just an emotional response, I think.

    Being angry means different things for different persons. The stoic idea is not about feeling the emotion of anger, but to quickly control it, and to not react destructively from anger towards the object of the anger, mainly because that rarely solves the problem but can often make it worse by impairing rationality.Frotunes

    I understand that. But, don't emotions contain their own set of logic? That's what I'm trying to imply here.
  • The Shoutbox
    Happy Birthday Waya!
  • The leap from socialism to communism.
    If the purchasing powers are close to equal, that sounds correct. But they have to be close to equal, at the same time. If I can suddenly buy a Ferrari and a mansion, but the bourgeoisie is now buying spaceships and planets, then I am still reaching for the pitchfork and torches. Will the majority of people ever be satisfied as the "under" class?ZhouBoTong

    Well, the standard of measure should be the human happiness index. If buying a Tesla Model 3 is within the means of the proletarian, then I can't imagine a better product a bourgeoisie could purchase that would increase satisfaction.
  • The leap from socialism to communism.

    But, I mean... You do agree that the welfare of the proletariat is getting better? My analysis in the OP points towards a future, where having astronomical sums of money doesn't correlate with increased wellbeing. I'm thinking about how to put this another way. If the purchasing power of my money increases to the point of being able to afford the same goods as my bourgeoise counterpart, then that would seem to imply that instead of the rift between the two growing apart, they are actually converging.

    Please keep in mind, that even if the money bag has a lot of capital, then that still is irrelevant to the contrasting effect it has to the poor bloke given that the same goods can be attained at a lower cost to both parties. But, I do concede that the money bag will have an absolute advantage over the proletariat in terms of expanding his or her influence in terms of job creation or self-sufficiency through investing in the market.
  • Invasion of Privacy
    I'm back & I'm fine. I feel just like THX now.Kippo

    Kippo! Haha. You are fine. But, I've been having second thoughts myself about restricting where I try and rationalize things about myself. It seems to me, that anywhere else but here is full of negativity and bad responses. Anyway, I've been having second thoughts myself about entirely quitting the internet apart from posting here...

    Best regards.
  • The leap from socialism to communism.
    Who is this by the way, you are running around claiming I'm autistic and insecure several times, I think you should probably just say who you are.Maw

    A troll that needs validation...
  • Invasion of Privacy
    Sure though, I can always get on meds.THX1138

    I think that would be a first good step. Good luck! :up:
  • The Shoutbox
    Operating at 120 terahertz...
  • Invasion of Privacy

    There's nothing more that I can say here given those statements. I suggest addressing them honestly with your county psychiatrist.

    Still, I hope you get a home or abode to stay in given the unfortunate predicament.
  • Invasion of Privacy
    Here's an elegant picture of the struggle and strife of identity formation for a schizophrenic:


    In my view, most get stuck on phase "struggling for control" as long as there is a profound dissonance with the perceived stigma of the diagnosis, which tragically is reaffirmed by many people who have no idea what schizophrenia actually is.