How to accept the unnaturalness of modern civilization?
Well, I’ve thought about it. Actually I thought about it so long that I forgot my login information and had to create a new account! To any moderator seeing this: it won't happen again.
Anyways. I’m scared of being alone … because I’m scared of being alone. How anticlimactic is that?! Some scientist could probably explain why I’ve evolved to be scared of being alone, and it would probably have to do with it not being good for the survival of the genes I’m carrying in my genome.
I want to get paid well so that I can attract and provide for some girl I’ll fall in love with, as well as to be able to provide for the kids I would want us to have. In other words, I want to make money as to not be lonely. I suppose my sense of loneliness manifests in an urge for romantic love.
I’m afraid that the question "what is really natural?" is beyond the scope of my intellectual capabilities, so I won’t even try it. That’s why I asked for books that could convince me to think differently. At the moment I’m just seeing the world through the values I figure to be right, what to me feels instinctively true, and through that lens the modern way of life isn’t natural; multiculturalism isn’t natural, (excessive) individualism isn’t natural, genderless society isn’t natural, our sedentary lifestyles aren’t natural and so on.
A recurring thought is that maybe I'm just projecting, perhaps I’m just scapegoating in an effort to cope with my inability to feel at home with my own being. I guess it’s not always easy to know what causes what.
How about you?