• Caldwell
    604
    That's hardly the tip of what they're up to. They're always up to something... they are.Wosret
    Hi Wosret. Sorry, I'm confused. What did I say again?
  • Wosret
    3.3k


    I'm not sure...

    And hello.
  • Wosret
    3.3k
    I wanted to make light of the thing I'd said. That's all.
  • Caldwell
    604
    And hello.Wosret

    Hello. :) :flower:
  • T Clark
    6.6k
    I used to be a big fan of Tom Robbins. As I got older, I got to feeling that he was too cute for my taste. When I reread books I'd previously enjoyed, I found they didn't hold up well. Be that as it may, I have always loved this passage from "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues." Silly. Too cute. But still...

    This sentence is made of lead (and a sentence of lead gives a reader an entirely different sensation from one made of magnesium). This sentence is made of yak wool. This sentence is made of sunlight and plums. This sentence is made of ice. This sentence is made from the blood of the poet. This sentence was made in Japan. This sentence glows in the dark. This sentence was born with a caul. This sentence has a crush on Norman Mailer. This sentence is a wino and doesn't care who knows it. Like many italic sentences, this one has Mafia connections. This sentence is a double Cancer with Pisces rising. This sentence lost its mind searching for the perfect paragraph. This sentence refuses to be diagramed. This sentence ran off with an adverb clause. This sentence is 100 percent organic: it will not retain a facsimile of freshness like those sentences of Homer, Shakespeare, Goethe et al., which are loaded with preservatives. This sentence leaks. This sentence doesn't look Jewish . . . This sentence has accepted Jesus Christ as its personal savior. This sentence once spit in a book reviewer's eye. This sentence can do the funky chicken. This sentence has seen too much and forgotten too little. This sentence is called “Speedoo” but its real name is Mr. Earl. This sentence may be pregnant, it missed its period. This sentence suffered a split infinitive—and survived. If this sentence had been a snake you'd have bitten it. This sentence went to jail with Clifford Irving. This sentence went to Woodstock. And this little sentence went wee wee wee all the way home. This sentence is proud to be a part of the team here at Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. This sentence is rather confounded by the whole damn thing.
  • unenlightened
    6k
    The hippies were right.

  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    4.4k
    My life feels like it's falling apart around me.
  • frank
    8.8k
    My life feels like it's falling apart around meArguingWAristotleTiff

    Why?
  • Hanover
    7k
    My life feels like it's falling apart around meArguingWAristotleTiff

    That means you must be standing firm.
  • Varde
    34
    Nnnn paaaaaaaaain.

    Crossword parse me in shell-yellow, costly abbreviations of a sniffle that sprung to mind a letter in the mix.
  • Tom Storm
    2.2k
    I've been thinking about starting a poll to identify the most intelligent, funniest, most obsessed with pigs, and most obsessed with goats members of the forum.T Clark

    Philosophy got me thinking about goats recently. Before COVID days I was speeding in my car through the incipient outback on my way to Broken Hill, Australia. Not a soul, not another vehicle in sight. Just a long stretch of endless road which looked like a nasty scar across the flat, scrubby landscape of red dirt.

    No one anywhere; but there were many ghastly dark shapes positioned awkwardly along the highway which was absolutely littered with the broken bodies of dead kangaroos in any number of perverse positions of agonised death. There was a shattered roo body every few yards. But not a single goat carcass to be seen.

    Goats? The reason this is interesting is that the roadsides were infested with wild goats, happily munching on jagged outback shrubbery. They seemed to be winking at me as I powered past them doing 130. What did they know? What unseen force kept them out of harms way?

    Seems to me the poor old roos, our majestic kangas, have not evolved yet to understand and manage road traffic down under. They die by the multitude on Australian inland asphalt every night from sunset to dawn.

    The goats near Broken Hill by contrast endure and even prosper. They look more a part of the landscape than the bloody roo bodies which reminds us of the internal combustion engine's other deplorable legacies. These later interlopers with horns are making the most of our beleaguered land.

    What is the philosophical lesson here? On the highway of life, try to be a goat, not a kangaroo. I'll leave it with you to work out what this means.
  • T Clark
    6.6k
    What is the philosophical lesson here? On the highway of life, try to be a goat, not a kangaroo. I'll leave it with you to work out what this means.Tom Storm

    In the post you quoted, I said that my preliminary vote for who is most obsessed with goats would go to @Hanover. It's good to see he has some competition.

    I'm not sure this is relevant, but it is my understanding that when placentals compete with marsupials, the placentals usually win. I read that the original mammal inhabitants of South America were marsupials. When a land bridge between South and North America opened, placentals moved south and killed off most of the marsupials. Now the only marsupials in the western hemisphere are opossums. Opossi?
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    4.4k
    That means you must be standing firm.Hanover

    As a draft horse in a snowstorm, iced over hooves, whiskers each have their own icicle and there is no end in sight. Predictions of heavy, wet snowfall is not encouraging to me but head down, heavy with exhaustion, I put one in front of the other and trudge on. :shade:

    I'm in need of a defeated emoticon.
  • frank
    8.8k
    , I put one in front of the other and trudge onArguingWAristotleTiff

    I'm so sorry.

    :cry:
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    4.4k
    I'm so sorry.frank

    Me too....me too :broken:
  • baker
    2.9k
    Which is to be expected when one takes on burdens that are not one's own to carry.
  • ArguingWAristotleTiff
    4.4k
    Which is to be expected when one takes on burdens that are not one's own to carry.baker

    You are very kind with your wisdom. Thank you :flower:
  • frank
    8.8k
    What is the philosophical lesson here?Tom Storm

    Where I live, running into white tailed deer is a problem, but since doing so will inevitably total your car and risk your life, we try to slow down where they're likely to jump out of the woods.

    Are Kangaroos small? Or are your cars really big? Why don't you have that problem?
  • Tom Storm
    2.2k
    Are Kangaroos small? Or are your cars really big? Why don't you have that problem?frank

    A kangaroo can reach heights from anywhere between 3- 7 feet (1 to 2 meters) and can weigh between 40 and 200 lbs (18-100kg). I don't live in a kangaroo area - I live in a city with 5 million people.

    In the outback kangas are on the road at night. I only drove after 8am. It's mainly larger vehicles that do the hitting - trucks and such.
  • frank
    8.8k
    It's mainly larger vehicles that do the hitting - trucks and such.Tom Storm

    I see. Maybe they could use an ultrasonic device on the trucks to repel the kangaroos. It works for deer.
  • Bitter Crank
    9.8k
    Kangaroos probably have an unusually strong death wish, caused by their colonization by white people and their infernal combustion engines. Colonialism has been sapping their will to live ever since your Columbus, Willem Janszoon discovered the western side of Oz. I don't suppose you all have the Janszoon equivalent of Columbus Day. Like it or not, getting discovered by Europeans is a big deal.

    Do lots of 'kangas' die on Australia's railroads?

    Death wishes aside, I have heard that kangaroos are unusually stupid animals. Deer are smart enough to make themselves scarce during hunting season, but otherwise aren't the very model of ingenuity.

    Goats. Goats have a reputation for being relatively brainy among members of the family Bovidae (cud chewing cloven-hoofed ruminants).

    Squirrels. Now THERE is one smart creature. They regularly end up as road kill, but not for lack of computational facilities. They are good at avoiding vehicles; because there are so many of the nutty little fuckers, Chance decreed a certain number of squashed squirrels. At least when they are run over they dry out fairly quickly--less odor. Much better than dying on the sidewalk and swelling up in the sun and smelling like fermented rat.
  • Tom Storm
    2.2k
    A former Prime Minister Bob Hawke once shared a modest joke - If a politician and a kangaroo were involved in hit and run accidents on the highway what would be the difference? There would be skid marks before the kangaroo.
  • Bitter Crank
    9.8k
    Sort of like this cleaned up joke: If a lawyer and a lobbyist committed suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, which one would die first?

    Who cares?
  • frank
    8.8k
    Chance decreed a certain number of squashed squirrels.Bitter Crank

    So true.

    :cry:
  • T Clark
    6.6k
    As William Shakespeare wrote "The first thing we do, let's kill all the kangaroos."

    On the other hand, Randy Newman wrote "We'll save Australia. Wouldn't want to hurt no kangaroos."
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